Top 10 parenting tips

Being a parent is one of the best feelings in the world. It gives one more meaning in life and happiness that is indescribable. I am a proud mom of three: Simon, 27;  Cheskie, 25; and Cara, 22. When they were growing up, I relied greatly on books, family and friends when I needed advice on how to bring up my children the best way possible.

Fast forward to now that parents, especially  the new ones, are very fortunate to not only have books as a guide but computers and the likes of The Parenting Emporium (TPE), which was founded in 2015 by young moms Beng Feliciano and Maricel Cua.

“We were inspired to put up TPE with the clamor of people within our community to provide a place for parents to run to — an option that is loving, non-judgmental and truly supportive,” Beng shared.

#TPEMilkSharingHub advocates safe and responsible milk sharing to support babies in the community who are sick, orphaned by their mothers or premature.

“We also wanted to remain relevant to all the members in the community we were serving, as their families grew in number and in age. So we expanded our focus — from just breastfeeding to the entire spectrum of parenting. We also formalized our retail area and our beneficiaries. People would just leave items before and ask us to display for them in case anyone would be interested. Plus, we also wanted to inspire families to always include a social aspect of giving back to their communities in whatever they do,” Maricel added.

Today, TPE also provides professional consultations, educational lectures, seminars, classes and workshops that help mothers, fathers, caregivers, and other members of one’s “village.” Whenever you shop in their store and online outlet, you help TPE’s partner communities and advocacies.

It’s a great blessing to be a parent. We have to give our best as we are given the chance to mold our children to be better citizens.

Read on as Beng and Maricel share with us their Top 10 parenting tips.

1. Research, attend a class or support group about certain parenting topics that are relevant to your family’s stage. You might be surprised with what you discover. Complement whatever it is you already know with experiences and knowledge of others and balance everything out with what actually works given your particular lifestyle and circumstances.

2. Use empowering words with your children in times when they doubt themselves. They can uphold high standards. They just need to know their parents are their partners who care rather than plain critics. As parents who care, they can help children figure out strategies to achieve goals and not do the task for the child to achieve the child’s goal.

3. Support each child’s individual talent/s even if you don’t have the same interest/inclination for as long as the talent/s or inclination/s bear/s positive and constructive life experiences. Show your child your effort to understand or learn what he/she is enjoying or going through.

4. Show genuine interest in what your children are saying by looking at them when they’re talking and giving relevant comments. We are all guilty of using our phones even at the dining table during a meal or during playtime/bonding time with our children. We have to constantly just remind ourselves that we are setting examples and our children grow up so quickly. Setting aside an hour for mealtime or bonding time scattered throughout the day is really not that much considering that life is unpredictable. (Being faced daily with pleas for help from so many families losing members unexpectedly due to dengue, childbirth, sickness, accidents makes us realize how precious and delicate life truly is).

Sending household staff members for training for specific skills will give them more knowledge and also boost their self-esteem.

5. Send your household staff for training for specific skills like first aid, good manners and right conduct, cooking, etc. Not only will the knowledge come in handy, it will also boost their self-esteem. Having them hear from others and proper methods and attitudes in caring for a child can sometimes be more effective than if the lessons come straight from their employers.

6. Really, don’t sweat the small stuff. Before reprimanding your child, evaluate first your action. Would you regret it in the end that you lost your temper? Would your action hurt your child emotionally? Time flies so fast. Make each moment count for the better.

7. Guard your child against sense of entitlement. We tend to provide everything our children need, everything we wanted to have growing up but didn’t get. If you evaluate closely, there is wisdom in leaving room for wants. It gives you some basic values to succeed in life: drive, perseverance and sense of purpose.

8. Stand by your own brand of parenting. Filipino author and speaker Marianne Mencias once shared, “God customized you for your child.” There are no two families that are exactly alike in terms of their combination of values, personalities, circumstances, lifestyle,  etc. So, you will be doing an injustice to yourself by allowing others to dictate how you should raise your children. Learn from each other and be willing to adjust without compromising core values, which you will need to agree on with your husband.

Beng Feliciano (center) with Patrick, Nikka and Michelle Garcia.

9. Be creative, resourceful and flexible. If there’s anything parents of older children will warn new parents about is the fact that one day, your child will respond to a certain kind of management and another day he/she won’t! Since you are only human, this can be exasperating. But such is life, even when your child grows older, his/her needs for you changes — you are teacher and nurturer at the beginning of your child’s life then counselor/coach as your child advances in years, and even friend, guardian, moral compass, or more, depending on where life brings your family. As a good friend used to say, let your child be your manual — learn his or her language of love and persevere!

10. Have a loving, supportive village around you because, let’s face it, respectful, loving #ParenthoodShared makes the journey less stressful and more enjoyable. Showing your children that even parents need help sometimes makes them more compassionate and sensitive. The other end of #ParenthoodShared — that of giving than receiving — gives life to community-building, generosity, selflessness, respect and love. And #BecauseParentingIsALegacy, these are definitely the values you would like to pass on to your little ones!

(For more information about The Parenting Emporium, visit www.theparentingemporium.com.)

(We welcome your suggestions and comments.Please e-mail me at [email protected].Follow me on Instagram @monsromulo.)