The unsinkable Sonia
My sister Valerie is correct. While devotees prepare for the feast of the Black Nazarene on Jan. 9 each year, our family also pulls out all stops for the feast of the birth of our mommy, Sonia Reyes Mayor.
Every birthday is a reason for celebration, but this year, her 78th, is especially significant.
In late 2015, Mom suffered a life-threatening fall that broke her thigh bone in half. The surgeon, in fact, told us that such an injury is common only in car accidents!
(Mom sustained her injury as she was going down the concrete steps of her home, balancing a glass of juice on one hand and a plate of cinnamon roll on the other.)
* * *
If you see my mom now, you would never guess the trauma she went through a year and a half ago. She is blooming. Though she has a standby cane and a titanium rod in her left thigh, she looks far younger than her 78 years. (She may not forgive me for revealing her age!)
If recovery had a five-letter synonym, it would be S-o-n-i-a.
When Mom was being wheeled into the OR, she refused to wave back to us, her anxious daughters who were waving at her. Instead she gave us the thumbs-up sign.
The minute she was given the go-signal after her hospital confinement, my mom plunged into therapy sessions like a Law student preparing for the Bar exams.
She never missed a therapy session or a doctor’s appointment. She would do her therapeutic exercises regularly.
She took all the bitter pills and painful injections.
And all throughout, she never failed to put on bright lipstick.
I got my love of color from Mom.
A few months after her surgery Mom flew by herself to the US, her second home (she is a naturalized US citizen because my dad was a US citizen). When I brought her to the airport and had a photo taken with her by the big Christmas tree in the Mabuhay Lounge of Philippine Airlines, she said, “Teka lang!”
Then she hid her cane, put her best foot forward and smiled for the iPhone camera.
* * *
Mom draws strength from her pride. Pride can also be a virtue, especially if it means knowing your self-worth. To Mom, it isn’t just about keeping up a front — it’s a way of feeling as good as you look. And so she made sure we always had nice dresses sewn for Christmas, even when she and Dad were tightening their belts.
* * *
Like all of us, Mom has been through challenging times. (One thing I can say, though, a rocky marriage was never a hurdle she had to overcome.)
At 11, she was thrust from a remote town (Bongabon, Oriental Mindoro) to the big city, from a public school in Bongabon to the German-run St. Scholastica’s College in Manila where she was an intern. New school, new friends, new home (the St. Scho dorm). And yet she never thought of quitting school to go back to her comfort zone in the province.
And for college in the late ‘50s — she chose UP Diliman and took up Business Administration!
If she wasn’t as tough as nails underneath her sweet smile, she would have had a culture shock the minute she made Manila her new home.
I guess Mom always believed in herself, in her potential and was grateful her parents had the means to give her the best education.
And she seized the moment!
* * *
I consider Mom the “poster Lola” for overcoming obstacles. Even when she’s down, she keeps her chin up. I’ve seen her cry (especially after her parents’ death), but she will wipe her tears away with Swiss lace.
* * *
My late dad Frank Mayor made me aspire to be the best I can be, to fulfill my true potential.
Mom enabled me to be the best I can be by believing from the start that I was capable of being what my dad wished for me.
* * *
Lessons from Sonia:
1. Courage is believing in yourself.
2. Pride gets you through life’s valleys.
3. A good education, like land or diamonds, is an investment that appreciates as time goes by.
4. Being No. 1 is second only to being happy. But if you could be both, why not?
5. Believe in prayers. Believe in miracles.
6. Keep in touch with your high school friends. (She spent her birthday yesterday with her St. Scho and UP BFFs Chi Jesena and Ludy Zaldivar.)
7. Have a happy hour when you can. When Mom is in the US, my sister Geraldine takes her out for a margarita regularly.
8. A woman’s place is by her husband. No matter where my dad’s job took him, Iloilo City, Legaspi City or Anaheim, California, she would go with him and keep house for him. My sisters Mary Mae, Geraldine and Valerie and I thus had quite a nomadic childhood. When my dad was terminally ill, my mom was also by his side throughout his two-month stay in the hospital. She would go home in the evenings, as is the rule in most US hospitals. But on Dad’s last day she never left his side, and was with him when he breathed his last.
9. Honor your parents. The way Mom took care of her parents when they were sick and in their hospital bed was true devotion. She even flew home from the US when my grandfather Igmedio was very sick so she could take care of him. Before her mother Jovita passed away, she thanked my mom, and whispered: “Balang araw, aalagaan ka rin mabuti ng mga anak mo. Kung paano mo kami minahal, ganoon ka rin nila mamahalin.”
10. When you can’t stand your detractors, reward them with a good night’s sleep — yours!
Happy birthday, Mom!
(You may e-mail me at [email protected].)
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