Tita Angge

Many of us are reshaped from our original molds by our friends, and blessed are those who are indelibly changed by the friendship of a good person.

My Tita Angge was such a person, and I think she enriched my mother’s life with her unconditional — and fun — friendship.

My mother, Sonia Reyes Mayor, was a 12-year-old promdi from Bongabon, Oriental Mindoro when she entered the St. Scholastica’s College high school in Vito Cruz, Manila, where she was an interna for four years. She lived in a dormitory on campus under the watchful eye of German nuns.

But she immediately felt at home in the warm embrace of the friendship she shared with fellow promdis and internas Angelica (Angge) Alday (Soriano) of Batangas, Marcia (Chi) Capinpin (Jesena) of Laguna and Salud  (Ludy) Borlongan (Zaldivar) of Laguna. When they graduated in 1955, my mom, Tita Angge and Tita Chi deviated from the usual route of convent-bred girls and entered the University of the Philippines in Diliman, Quezon City, where they were dorm mates again. They were also members of the UP Student Catholic Action (UPSCA). I know Tita Angge was one of its pillars till the day she died.

And so their time-tested friendship soared like a sturdy kite in good weather and bad. Even when after they became grandmothers, they would go out constantly, in small groups and big groups, sometimes as far as Tarlac and Quezon. That would be a highlight of my mom’s month — the planning for the next reunion, and the actual get-together. Even when they were in their seventies, the “gangmates” still shared “dirty” jokes, and my mom would repeat those jokes to us. Hmmm, these septuagenarians! I could imagine Tita Angge’s infectious  laughter as she repeated those jokes.

Their children were friends and batch mates in school as well. I remember Tita Angge was also a friend to us. When her husband Emanuel V. Soriano (Tito Brod or Tito Noel) was UP president, she was the one who broke the news to my sister Mary Mae that she had passed the difficult entrance exams, sparing Mae the agony of waiting one more minute for the results.

Tita Angge was usually the sender of my first text message for the day when she liked my column. On Valentine’s Day, 11 days before a burst aneurysm drew a dark curtain over her brain, she sent me this message because she liked my column on the love stories of my parents, paternal grandparents and parents-in-law entitled Faithfully: “I am always touched when you write about love and family, but more so when you write about your Mom and Dad. Valentine’s greetings for you and the whole family. Hugs from Tito Brod and Tita Angge.”

“Angge is always there for me,” my mom would say even while Tita Angge was still alive. You know a person is genuinely good when her friends already heap praises on her even before she is eulogized in death. For Tita Angge was one friend whose true worth was already evident even before she passed on, to be missed forever. My mother once recounted how Tita Angge borrowed a substantial amount of money in order to lend to a friend who was in dire financial straits.

“Inutang niya ang pinautang niya,” was how my mother described Tita Angge’s selflessness. In other words, she willingly gave away what she didn’t have — while others give away only their surplus!

My sister Geraldine, a psychiatrist, would receive several requests from Tita Angge for medicines — not for herself but for friends and the children of her friends. I guess Tita Angge wasn’t reluctant to ask favors if they were to help others who needed help the most.

Tito Brod and Tita Angge shared a beautiful love. They had six children, JJ (married to Minette), Popo (married to Leilanie), Rinna (“Anna”), Bingo (married to Carol), Mayee (married to Dr. Nicomedez) and Dodoy (married to Dulce). They had 19 grandchildren.

Since he was left wheelchair-bound by a debilitating stroke many years ago, Tito Brod became a prolific painter. With the encouragement of Tita Angge, the former Aquino National Security Adviser took painting lessons, and his paintings have been reproduced in greeting cards.

“Your Tito Brod is BBI,” Tita Angge told me. When she saw my eyebrows knit quizzically, she added, “Blessed By Illness.”

When I approached Tito Brod, who was sitting by Tita Angge’s flower-bedecked gurney just hours before her cremation, he looked up at me and then pointed to his beloved wife, tears rolling down his cheeks, and said, “Ganda, ‘no?”

On Feb. 22, a few days before she passed away, Tita Angge sent me this text message: “Rosemarie, a distant relative, an apo sa pamangkin whose son Peter Marlou is only seven months old, has been in Philippine Children’s Medical Center for more than a month now, is going from one charitable group to another. Today, she goes to The Philippine Star. Would you know who can help her there?”

When I gave her the name of the contact persons in The STAR’s “Operation Damayan,” she replied: “Thanks, one of these days I will share with you an experience I had a few days ago regarding efforts to help this mother. Up to now, I think there was a kind of miracle. I am amazed the baby is surviving.”

I was to learn later on from her son JJ that the miracle was that a doctor, who was a total stranger to the family, one day passed by Rosemarie and Marlou in the ward they were confined in. The doctor took pity on Baby Marlou, who had a long list of congenital ailments, and offered to operate on him, for free. The operation was successful and shortly after Tita Angge passed away, the baby was discharged from the hospital.

***

Tita Angge suffered an aneurysm on Feb. 25 and passed away peacefully on Feb. 28. One of her last text messages was to her grandson Miel, who is the captain of the Ateneo High School football team, which lost to FEU in the finals. She also texted Miel’s father JJ, “Hugs to Miel.”

 Till the end, her thoughts were farthest from her own self — they revolved around those she cared for, family and strangers alike.

Her son Bingo said it best.

He said that like Our lady of Guadalupe, his Inay’s mission was and is “To exhibit and give all my love, compassion, help and protection, because I am your merciful mother.”

 He shared:

When we had our Mass for Inay right before she was cremated in the evening of Feb. 28, Fr. Jboy Gonzales, SJ, said in his homily, “What Tita Angge could not do when she was alive, she can now do.”

Then, during our First Friday Mass the following day with Fr. Herb Schneider, SJ, he said in his homily, “Usually when we hear eulogies, the person is usually referred to in the past tense.  But I firmly believe that their life and mission never end, they continue.”

And finally today, during our final memorial Mass with Fr. Joaquin Bernas, SJ, he said in his homily, “I have concluded that Angge is a saint. Saint Angge, pray for us.”

Tita Angge, how bittersweet that today, my column is about you, you who always appreciated my work. And if you like it, just smile from Above. Your memory will always inspire those of us who seek to uplift the lives of others, like the corners of your smile.

(You may e-mail me at joanneraeramirez@yahoo.com.)