How does one celebrate Christmas when its most conspicuous symbol is also a symbol of one’s deepest pain?
A ravenous fire claimed KC de Venecia, the youngest child of Manay Gina and her husband, former Speaker Jose de Venecia seven Christmases ago. The fire, according to investigators, was ignited by a Christmas tree overloaded with lights. The fire all but devoured the De Venecia home, suffocating KC who had sought refuge in one of the second-floor bathrooms.
After Dec. 16, 2004, a devastated Gina refused to put up a Christmas tree in her home again. In fact, she refuses to put up any Christmas décor in her home up to now.
“I think, for the rest of my life, I will never be able to put up and trim a Christmas tree in my home again,” she says.
Which is not to say she has not moved on. She has created a support group for bereaved mothers, the INA, and she makes it her life’s mission to toss a life raft to those drowning in their sorrow.
“As for me, the intervals between the tears have become longer and longer as the years go by. But I will never get over the pain. I have just learned to live with it,” she admits.
* * *
I was thus surprised that Manay Gina agreed to put up a tree at the Dusit Thani’s 12 Trees of Christmas display, in which the hotel invited 12 families to create their own tree. The tree that gets the most number of votes gets a prize for a chosen charity.
Gina, through her son Christopher, agreed to put up a tree in KC’s name. But she had one big request: No Christmas lights. Not one light. It would open too many fresh wounds in her heart.
Instead, she requested her sister, Marichu Maceda, to trim the De Venecia tree with butterflies. To those who have lost children, butterflies are meaningful reminders of them. For though butterflies have a short life span, they spread an abundance of beauty in their brief time on earth.
“Our tree is entitled ‘Butterflies of Hope,’ which is dedicated to the memory of our beloved KC,” says Manay Gina. “You know how painful it is for me to remember what happened during that terrible fire that took the life of my child and razed my home. From then on, I’ve completely ignored Christmas.”
“But in my hope to help the scholars of the KC Foundation and undergo this process of healing, I steeled myself to revisit the tragic incident and decorate a Christmas tree with butterflies that represent hope. Everyone who’s been stuck in a dark cocoon should know that a butterfly will emerge from that cocoon — sooner than later!”
To Manay Gina and her husband Joe, the Dusit holds a lot of meaning. It was where they first met 26 years ago, when it was still called the Hotel Nikko Manila Garden. They were having lunch separately at the hotel’s Japanese restaurant when they were introduced by a common friend, interior designer Chito Antonio. Joe and Gina were two people hoping for a second chance at love and happiness, and they found both in each other. From their union were born Chris and KC.
It was also at the Dusit where Joe and Gina sought refuge after their house was gutted down by the fire. It was their refuge until they were able to find a temporary home in a nearby condominium unit.
And today, the Dusit is where Gina is taking another bold step towards her healing. It is the first Christmas tree being put up with her blessings. The tree may not be in her home, but it is in a meaningful place in her life.
“It is not just a tree to me. It is a way of reaching out to others. If our tree gets the most number of votes, all proceeds from the prize will go to the KC de Venecia Scholarship Foundation, which sends and has already sent underprivileged students to college in the field of the arts and the sciences, KC’s favorite subjects,” says Manay Gina.
For ultimately, it is in helping others, giving them hope, that our deepest pain finds a balm.
And hope shines brighter than any Christmas light.
(There are two ways of casting votes for Manay Gina’s tree:
1. Facebook (50 percent)
Friends must first click “LIKE” to Dusit Thani Manila’s Fanpage: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Dusit-Thani-Manila/105379426201655?ref=ts
Then click “LIKE” on Butterflies of Hope: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=218854474854149&set=a.218851814854415.54277.105379426201655&type=3&theater
2. Ballot (50 percent)
Each hotel guest will be entitled to one ballot for every P500 worth of purchase. The ballot box will be positioned beside the hotel’s giant tree.)
Imelda Cojuangco’s devotion
Aside from being devoted to her family, philanthropist Imelda Cojuangco is deeply devoted to Jesus and Mary. In her home is an image of the Blessed Virgin of Flowers, whom she credits for saving her life.
Seven years ago, recalls Mrs. Cojuangco, she was feeling ill and went early to bed. Usually, she says, her househelp come to check on her at 10 every night.
But one night, one of them came to her room much earlier because she wanted to ask her permission to go to the province to take care of her sick mother.
“Ate Mel, Ate Mel,” she called out to Mrs. Cojuangco, who was so sick she could barely talk. All she could say was, “Doctor Ting, Doctor Ting.”
Doctor Ting is her brother Dr. Ting Ongsiako. And the maid immediately called Dr. Ongsiako, who rushed his sister in the nick of time to the hospital, where she was diagnosed with a life-threatening aortic aneurism.
Before she lost consciousness, Mrs. Cojuangco instructed her brother, “Whatever happens, no operation.” She believes she had guidance from above in making that fateful decision.
After more than six months in the hospital, Mrs. Cojuangco was able to resume most of her activities, especially her charitable causes. One of them is dedicated to the Virgin Mary, the annual Grand Marian procession, mounted by the Cofradia de la Inmaculada Concepcion, of which she is founding chairperson.
This year’s procession on Dec. 4, which will commence in front of the Manila Cathedral, will include over 90 images of Our Lady. Devotees from all over the country come to see the procession.
The day before, the Cofradia will sponsor the First Holy Communion of 500 children from the Baseco Compound in the Port Area.
Mrs. Cojuangco believes devotion to Mary keeps a lot of people out of trouble. And as her own experience shows, Mary takes care of all those who seek her intercession to Jesus.
One of my family’s most powerful and most calming prayers is the Memorare. After we pray it, we are clothed in a certain impenetrable calm that protects us even in the toughest of storms.
(You may e-mail me at joanneraeramirez@yahoo.com)