Unions and reunions stitch together pieces of our body and soul when they are torn apart by the wear and tear of the daily grind. After the nourishing effect of unions and reunions — we are whole again.
It was the best of times, and the worst of times, when my husband Ed and I recently flew to California. Winter was saying a gentle goodbye amidst the harsh hello of a modern-day recession in America.
Record numbers were being laid-off from work, and people were losing their homes. But for tourists like us enjoying sales at discount stores like Nordstrom Rack, Marshalls and Ross, free panties (for me, that is) at Victoria’s Secret, 30 percent off at Borders (even for a DVD player) and $50 off at Ann Taylor, it was a good time to be in America.
But the best part of our every sojourn to the land of the free was the opportunity it gave us to bond with relatives and friends. Aside from our much-awaited annual visit to my parents Frank and Sonia Mayor in Anaheim, the highlight of our trip was the wedding of my first cousin Candice Reyes to her long-time beau Aubrey Cox in Oakland and the reunion Ed had with his Ateneo classmates, some of whom he hadn’t seen since their high school graduation in the seventies, in San Francisco.
We’ve been looking at the pictures and video of our visit and they reinvigorate us as we struggle to beat jet lag and face the glare of credit card bills.
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Of all our cousins, Candice spent the most time living at, not just visiting, our home. She was about two years old then, and has probably no memories of those days, but they are as clear to my sisters and I as a summer’s day in the Philippines.
Her parents Caesar and Mattie had gone ahead to the US to prepare their new home, and Candice and her sister Czarina would follow. Candice’s mom told her she would just be in Mindoro and would come back soon.
Candice enjoyed being our baby sister and we pampered her. She was very popular in our neighborhood. But at the end of the day, every day, she would always ask us as we put her to sleep: “Why is my mom taking so long? Is Mindoro that far?” Unbeknownst to her, her mom was in a place farther than Mindoro.
But what was more heart-tugging than witnessing a child asking for her mother was the way Candice asked the question — with longing but with no irritation, with unflagging hope that her mother would keep her word. Of course her mother did.
Candice went on to graduate from UCLA, where she met a blonde, blue-eyed student who always topped the class. He had, as Candice’s sister Czarina pointed out during the wedding, “a chick’s name” — Aubrey.
Candice and Aubrey were married at a solemn candle-lit ceremony in a centuries-old manor in Oakland called the Bellevue Club, which was spruced up with red roses and hydrangeas arranged by our cousin Jean. The Reyes clan — Candice’s youngest sister Chrystin, my mother Sonia Reyes and my dad Frank, my auntie Pat and her husband Dr. Er Malto, my uncles Jun and Edward Reyes, cousins Patrick, Babygee, Jean, Marjorie, Kirk and Kate and their families came in full force, and the reunion exuded the warmth that dulls the chill of winter.
Candice and Aubrey promised to give each other not only their love, but also “their warmth and strength.” If the wedding rites were solemn, the dinner reception that followed was a riot, with lots of dancing, music, drinks and toasts.
It was good to see our little girl Candice with the man she loves and I am sure that the resilience she exhibited even when she was just two years old would further cement their union.
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From Oakland, we proceeded to San Francisco, where we stayed at the Grand Hyatt on Union Square. Union Square is San Francisco’s main plaza (much like Madrid’s Plaza Mayor), surrounded by upscale hotels, shops, theaters and cable car terminals. What should make Union Square endearing to Filipinos is the monument that towers over and distinguishes it — the Dewey Tower. In 1903, a 97-ft. tall monument in Union Square was dedicated to celebrate Admiral George Dewey’s victory at the Battle of Manila Bay during the Spanish American War. So, you see, we Filipinos are connected to the heart of San Francisco.
From my husband’s batchmates at the Ateneo, I witnessed a brotherhood like no other. They have a network that provides a nest for their batchmates, whether a visitor or a resident. To visitors, they are tour guides, shopping guides and unparalleled hosts. To fellow eagles in the Bay Area needing their help, they are guidance counselors, life coaches and even matchmakers.
On our first night, Pek Tecson, Dindo Barrios and his wife Emy gave us a nighttime tour of the city, with its bright lights etched on a dark sky. It was such a clear night, you could see forever — including a lone twinkling light on Alcatraz and the silhouette of the Golden Gate Bridge. We drove past Pacific Heights, Lombard Street, the Marina and even Mayor Dianne Feinstein’s house after dinner at a chic Filipino fusion restaurant called Poleng’s (whose owner-chef is a Lu Ym from Cebu).
After covering a skin convention at the Moscone Center the next day, we went to a dinner hosted by Ed’s classmate Noy Firmacion and his wife Yuyu at another Filipino restaurant called Kuya’s, owned by Rey Bautista’s (of Kamayan fame) brother Giles. After days of steak and burgers, my husband was craving for chicharon bulaklak, which the menu described as “pork flower croutons.”
On our last day in San Francisco, we were feted to a dinner at Dindo and Emy Barrios’ beautiful home by the Ateneo mafia of the Bay Area.
That’s why my husband never wants to beat the blues (as in eagles). He needs them.
For whether it is a union or a reunion, when an emotional bond prevails even for just a period of time, our souls will always be neatly stitched together, and our lives — whole.
(You may e-mail me at joanneraeramirez@yahoo.com)