Why we celebrate life on All Souls' Day

In two days, most Filipinos will be trekking to cemeteries to honor their dead. But really, they will be celebrating life — theirs, their loved ones’, and those they want to pass on the tradition of remembering. Nothing makes us value life more than the thought of losing it.

That’s why I personally don’t disapprove of the merry atmosphere that prevails in cemeteries during Nov. 1 and 2. For when families get together to pay homage to a departed loved one, they are in fact rejoicing that they are alive. Bereaved of a loved one, yes, but gifted nevertheless with more time to pursue their dreams. Now, if only there would be no drinking and gambling as we celebrate life in the midst of very concrete reminders that life is short, and therefore must be lived to the fullest.

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So let me share stories of happily-ever-afters today, in this life and leave to the ghosts and their mediums the telling of the many happily-ever-afters in the next life.

I recently wrote about Peachy, a Filipina, and Chuck, an American, high school sweethearts who were reunited after close to 37 years of not seeing each other — and not breaking up with each other. It was a true-to-life fairy tale that was more delicious than a buttery croissant as women read it with their coffee.

Here’s more:

Tina and Ruben. Also high school sweethearts, they broke off in college because Tina, who was in medical school, was decreed by her parents as worthy only of another doctor or lawyer. Ruben was neither.

Tina became a pediatrician, and married a famous cardiologist. They had four beautiful children. Strangely, she would talk to her children about her first love, Ruben, especially when things started turning sour with her husband Noel. One day, Tina found out that Noel had a second family, and she moved to have their marriage annulled. A few years after the annulment, Noel passed away.

After some time, Tina’s daughter Marie, who sensed that her mother was lonely, took it upon herself to search the Internet for Ruben. When she got his e-mail address, she sent him a message and signed it, “Tina.”

Ruben responded by saying, “Is this the same Tina who broke my heart in college?”

Marie was then forced to tell her mother that she has been corresponding with Ruben. Tina took over from there, and before her children knew it, Ruben had flown in from the US, where he was based, to Manila.

One day, Tina’s children were worried when their mother did not come home at her usual time. They later got a text message that she and Ruben, both senior citizens who needed no parental consent to marry, had done what they should have 40 years ago. They eloped! And were in some far away place in the Philippines for their honeymoon!

The Tina who had broken Ruben’s heart has now mended it.

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Millie and Joe. I was quite amused when my friend Doris told me that her husband Don, who is in his fifties, was going to be Bestman in a wedding. Because in their fifties, men become wedding sponsors, not Bestmen.

It turns out that Don, who was going to be a Bestman at the wedding of Joe, a widower in whose first marriage he was also the Bestman. And Joe was marrying Millie, a former officemate who was also widowed. Don, Joe and Millie were all once officemates in a multinational in Manila, and Joe and Millie had “noticed” each other and liked each other from way back. It was not enough, however, to make them unfaithful to their spouses. Joe and his wife migrated to the US and from time to time, he would visit Manila and he would see Millie in office reunions. Still, they remained true to their respective spouses.

But as destiny had it, both were meant for each other after all. Joe lost his wife to cancer and during one of his visits to Manila, found out that Millie had been widowed, too.

So after 30 years, the budding office romance finally bloomed — in the right place, at the right time. In God’s eyes and in theirs.

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During my recent stopover to Philadelphia to visit my sister Dr. Geraldine Mayor, I had a most delightful dinner with a happily married couple of almost 30 years, KC and Sharon Curlik. I asked the wife Sharon, a psychiatrist, the secret to their happy union (they always seem to be on a date, according to my sister, whether they’re just riding their bikes along the river or going on an adventure on the Three Gorges in China).

“I married a good man,” she told me. “You have to start with a good man.” They met on a blind date, and when she got home, she told her family, “I’ve met the man I am going to marry.” She says she and her husband, an IBM executive, don’t agree on certain things — like how much Reynolds wrap she uses on leftovers, but on the things that matter most, no one can spot a difference.

Another couple in my sister’s apartment is unique — the wife Laura is a Catholic and the husband Bruce is Jewish. Anyway, that Sunday, when my sister and I heard Mass, I was surprised to see the wife leading the congregation in song at the lectern on the altar. She wore her faith on her sleeve, and she sang with the sweetness of a thousand angels.

Then I noticed that on the front pew of the chapel was her Jewish husband. He wasn’t really participating, but he was listening to the Mass. And each time his wife sang, I could see, from where I was at the back, that he would turn his head in her direction and look at her with love and pride. My sister whispered to me that after Mass, the couple would have Sunday brunch with his parents and I suppose it would be a traditional Jewish affair.

Now, here is a couple who differ in something very fundamental — religion. Looking at them, I am befuddled why wars are fought in the name of religion, when here are two very different people who love each other despite their differences and who make an effort to not only be tolerant of, but also appreciative of, the other’s devotion to his or her faith.

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So why am I writing this column like it were Valentine’s Day instead of All Souls’ Day?

Because we really celebrate life when we honor those who have gone ahead of us, and we honor the life we have when we choose to make it worthwhile.

And love makes it worthwhile.

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