‘Mom, you are beyond amazing’
Exactly two years ago, on a beautiful summer day, Ann Puno, her husband Rene and children Renee Ann, Yago and Luis were lazing around in the master bedroom, enjoying each other’s company. In the midst of the bliss of their bonding, Ann said she heard a voice telling her to put her hand on her right breast. Others would call it gut feel. Ann chooses to believe it was Jesus talking to her.
She had just had a mammogram the previous November, and the results cleared her of malignant growths. But on this seemingly perfect day, after she put her hand on her breast, she felt a lump the size of a corn kernel. Subsequent tests confirmed that it was indeed malignant. Ann had stage 2 cancer.
“It turned our world upside down,” recalls Ann of that day two years ago when she was told she had the Big C. As we talk today, it is a few days before Mother’s Day and Ann is free of cancer.
She recalls not crying when she got the news, but sobbing in the toilet later when no one was looking. Her husband, lawyer Rene Puno, would be strong in front of her, but weep when she was not around.
Her eldest child Renee Ann wrote in a magazine article how she felt on the day she found out that her mother had cancer. “Dad was there to welcome me. We stood silently, frozen before each other, staring in disbelief at one another. Then we broke down. We hugged and cried; it felt like our hearts would explode.”
On the day the hairdresser had to shave Ann’s head of whatever hair she had left, Renee Ann had to dash out of the room, unable to control her emotions.
Yago was, “the constant one,” believing from Day One that God would take care of his mother. Luis the youngest was so devastated even his school performance suffered.
Through it all, Ann, as Renee recalled in the article that was written in letter form addressed to “My dearest Mommy,” tried to be strong. “You were trying to be the happy self you always are. That’s how it went throughout this whole ordeal — although you were the one suffering, it was you who was laughing, smiling and making jokes about your condition. Mom, you are beyond amazing.”
* * *
“You just have to carry me, Lord,” Ann would pray when the effects of her chemo seemed too much to bear.
But it was also those around her, friends and strangers alike, who helped ease her burden.
Once, she was buying some food at a counter outside the supermarket and a friend recognized her. She told her friend she was going to have chemo later in the afternoon. When she got back her change from the sales lady, it was P10 more.
“Pangdagdag sa chemo ninyo, Ma’am,” the saleslady, a total stranger who overheard her conversation with her friend, told Ann. Ann was choked with tears, realizing that P10 was probably all the extra money the saleslady had for the day.
“There may be bad people in this world, but I think the good people outnumber the bad,” Ann believes.
* * *
Ann is certain it is her faith, her will to live, and the support she got from family and friends that saw her though. Ann and Rene decided from the start that they were not going to keep her illness a secret, and that she was not going to withdraw from the world. Once, when she found it too stressful trying to match her headscarf with her outfit, she boldly decided to just leave the house without one. She went to Mass in all her shaven glory and couldn’t care less if people stared at her.
She also is realistic enough to say that to survive cancer, you need money. Her heart goes out to those who just go home to die because they have no money to pay for their chemo. She feels fortunate because she had the means to have her treatment, and she gives back by being active in her church, and in a support group for cancer patients. She keeps at least two nights of the week free for her parish work.
“You know,” she tells me, “Jesus’ cross is so heavy already with all the sins in the world. I feel privileged that with my suffering, I helped Him carry His cross.”
She also found meaning in her pain because she would offer it up for the victims of war. At the time she was undergoing her chemo, there was some fighting in
She also feels blessed because her cancer gave her a certain closeness to the Lord, so that she feels His presence more so now than ever before.
“And I don’t want to ever lose that closeness,” she says.
Ann feels that that she has proven to herself and to the world that with God, there is nothing one cannot face. With that, she has rid herself of all useless anxiety.
* * *
Since it is Mother’s Day on Sunday, I asked Ann: How special is Mother’s Day now to you and your children in the light of your bout with cancer? This is her reply:
“We are not really a very materialistic family. That’s why whenever Mother’s Day came, we just perceived it as another commercial thing that ‘Hallmark’ invented. Events that we perceive as commercial are usually no big deal for us.
After my bout with cancer, the kids started to look at Mother’s Day as an opportunity to show how important I am to them and how much they love me. It has now become a more meaningful celebration.
As for me, my illness has emphasized the mother in me and the role I play. It has given me a chance to recognize and appreciate my role as a mother and realize the importance of my role.
For almost one year, I was not allowed to play my role as a mom and housewife because of my illness and because Rene wanted me to be stress-free. He took over my ‘chores’ but couldn’t fill the void created by my absence. I now know the value of the things I do and I am convinced that a mom is surely IRREPLACEABLE!”
(You may e-mail me at [email protected])
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