It was one of those evenings that I treasure. I was home from work and my son, Chino, a senior at the Ateneo de Manila University, was all of the following: a. Home from school; b. Home from the gym; c. Home from whatever and wherever.
We were watching television and I think it was Robert, brother of Raymond (of Everybody Loves Raymond) who said something like, “Life isn’t fair!” I forget now why, but it was probably because his mother Marie showed her obvious favoritism for Raymond, again.
I asked Chino, an only child, “Is life fair?”
He shrugged, like the answer to my question were a no-brainer.
“Life is life,” he answered.
* * *
One of the first times I thought life wasn’t fair was when my mom started measuring my rice intake. I was about eight years old, and at home we were served rice in individual lacquer bowls, like they do in Japanese restaurants. Mine was half-empty (okay half-full) because, “Ang taba-taba mo na (You’ve gotten too fat),” my mom would admonish me.
That I knew because even my male playmates and my uncles would tease me about it. Even at eight, you kinda know something is wrong if the prince during your make-believe drama sessions never chooses you to be his Cinderella. So I grudgingly accepted my fate. Half a bowl of rice so I would be Cinderella someday, not Prunella or Sardella. Then I saw how much our slender yayas would eat — maybe two bowls of rice each and they probably were not more than 110 pounds each!
I did not know about metabolism then. I just knew that life wasn’t fair. I continued to be a fat child and then a fat pre-teener.
But then in school, when most everybody would be wracking their brains before an exam, I would just breeze through my books. Call me a braggart now, but at the time I couldn’t understand why some of my classmates were having a hard time memorizing things or solving equations. Studying was no ordeal for me and the morning after, I got really high grades.
Life wasn’t fair — to someone else, not me, this time.
So, isn’t life fair after all?
* * *
From childhood, one grows up to learn that it’s up to you to even things out and juggle the good with the bad.
One of my favorite stories of faith is that of Neni Munson Weigand, who was featured in the August issue of People Asia magazine (the story so inspired the producers of GMA-7’s Mel and Joey they requested her number from People Asia and featured her on the show).
A few years after she lost her beloved husband Louie, Neni found out she had ovarian cancer and she was faced with the horrifying prospect that her four children would soon be orphans. But she survived. And then just as she had started to pick up the pieces of her life, she found out she had breast cancer!
She survived that, too. On the 10th year of her being double cancer-free, Neni decided to attend a Mass of thanksgiving in Makati. As she got off her bus along EDSA en route to the chapel, another bus hit her. That was the last she remembered of that fateful day.
Relatives who saw her at the ER didn’t think she survived the accident. But Neni did.
Neni lost her left leg as a result of that accident, and she wears an artificial leg now. She has lost so many things in life but has found something greater: unwavering faith.
Is life fair? Neni seems to think so because recently, she was able to give an artificial leg to a young cancer victim and she says, in joy, “Puede na ako mamatay bukas.”
* * *
Life is fair if you apply to it the 90/10 principle of bestselling book author Steven Covey (The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People), which was passed on to me by my friend, KLM’s Dindin Monserrate. According to Covey, “Ten percent of life is made up of what happens to you. Ninety percent of life is decided by how you react.”
In other words, “We really have no control over 10 percent of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be arriving late, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10 percent. The other 90 percent is different. You determine the other 90 percent. How? By your reaction.”
So next time life throws you a bunch of lemons, react by picking up the pieces and making the sweetest-tasting lemonade ever.
Yes, life is life.
(You may e-mail me at joanneraeramirez@yahoo.com)
Tickled Pink
Tagged as “the bazaar to end all bazaars,” Tickled Pink, the benefit bazaar, is back on Oct. 19 and 20, 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. at the Rockwell Tent, Makati City.
Tickled Pink isn’t your everyday bazaar. The look is New Age Zen rendered in black and pink — the global breast cancer color conceptualized and styled by Joseph Claravall.
Tickled Pink showcases rarely seen items in the Philippine market. They are mostly products for export ranging from fashion wear and accessories, menswear, children’s clothing and toys, home accessories, gifts and a wide array of food. Specially designed items from the ICanServe Foundation are also up for grabs such as cancer awareness bands, Christmas cards, bags and a kiddie line by Big and Small.
Bianca Araneta, a supporter of the advocacy, is the event’s signature model. She has relatives who bravely survived the Big C and a grandmother who died of breast cancer.
Top crowd drawer Camille Genuino’s C + G designer clothing will lead the pack of vendors. Eva Abesamis and her Marie Antoinette-inspired tops will be there, too, along with V-Clothing and La Copa. Accessory exporters Avatar, Legacy Crafts, Le Font and Silverbox will join the festivity. Isabel Lovina, long time exporter of children’s clothes, will make her unique creations available to the market. Buena Mano, Accent Pieces, Arden Classic, Design Menu, Ferimar and Tadeco will provide home and Christmas decors. Mayenne Carmona offers a kiddie line from Vietnam. Art Wednesday Group will be displaying colorful paintings. The Farm at San Benito will be bringing its signature health and wellness spa products. Fashion and Design Council of the Philippines will pool its talent to come up with designs catering to male and female customers. Nursing moms and soon-to-be moms will enjoy the stylish clothes by Blissful Babes. Dog lovers will create their pets personalities through the accessories of Samson and Mom.
Actress, breast cancer survivor and ICanServe volunteer Maritoni Fernandez lends a hand with her own booth selling home accessories.
One can also enjoy food from Le Souffle, the Anchor food vendor for Tickled Pink, and also enjoy the brewing Coffee Alamid.
Bettina Osmeña, chairman for the fund raising committee of the ICanServe Foundation and the Tickled Pink event, offers her own line of jewelry for export, Bijux. Co-organizers of the event are ICanServe volunteers and sisters Ria Romero and Ina Vergel de Dios and Kara Magsanoc-Alikpala, president of ICanServe.
(For more info, please call 687-3942, e-mail icanserve@yahoo.com or visit www.icanserve.net)