It’s never too late... to keep an altar date

I never believe that it is too late. To make a difference, to effect a change, to turn things around. To take up ballet or driving lessons, to go skydiving (heard of the 80-year-old grandma who is due to make her first dive?). To be happy.

It is also never too late to keep a date... especially one that is set at the altar.

My friend and former officemate Mabel Academia (we entered the ad agency Bates Alcantara 21 years ago, and though I stayed for only six months, she stayed on for 15 years), finally made good her altar date with TV sales executive Maru Sotto (former husband of Ali Sotto, now Mrs. Omar Bsaies).

Mabel is a floral artist who is now making waves after she represented the Philippines in the 23rd World Flower Council Summit in Ottawa, with her Aurora Borealis-themed arrangement.

"I have been attending to so many weddings," muses Mabel, "I felt it was about time to attend to mine."

Mabel and Maru have been together for 16 years (after his marriage to Ali hit the rocks), and she jokes that her daughter Mara "waited 15 years and eight months" to be bridesmaid at her parents’ wedding.

Even after Maru and Ali’s marriage was annulled in 1992, Mabel and Maru were already so comfortable with their relationship (a la Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russel, who have been together for decades without the benefit of marriage) that they never really made concrete plans to walk down the aisle.

That is, until one day, when she was sending her daughter off to a party. As she was telling her daughter to take care, etc. etc., Mabel realized she may not have the moral authority to give her daughter advice... because though her religion and her culture valued marriage, she, her daughter’s mother, was not married.

Mabel had also stopped receiving Holy Communion, and apparently, this bothered Maru.

The bond between the couple had become stronger after the tragic death of Maru’s son Miko, who accidentally fell from the balcony of a high-rise condominium three years ago. In keeping each other strong, they vowed to be always there for each other.

Mabel and Ali had also become close. Mabel’s friends would be shocked to see the two ladies walking hand-in-hand in the mall. Ali has also said publicly that she loves Mara, Mabel and Maru’s daughter, like her own.

Besides, Mabel took care of Ali’s sons Chino and Miko during their weekend visits with their father, and when Ali lived abroad for a few years with her diplomat-husband. Mabel was probably the opposite of Cinderella’s stepmother, because Chino and Miko would even hitch a ride with their friends just to get to her home in the weekends that either Mabel or Maru (brother of Tito, Val and Vic) couldn’t pick them up.

The relationship was going strong, so, for argument’s sake, why fix what ain’t broke? Why did Mabel and Maru finally keep their altar date?

* * *

Maru has the answer. He told Mabel, "Aside from sobrang mahal kita, I want to put things in their proper perspective. And I want to set a good example to Chino and Mara. And so you will receive Holy Communion already."

And so during the 80th birthday party of our former boss Sev Alcantara, Mabel suddenly goes up to the priest before the Mass and requests him to hear her confession. They go to a quiet spot under the golden sky (it was sunset, the same time Maru and her were married on May 30 this year), and Mabel makes her peace with the Lord. That same hour she receives Holy Communion.

* * *

I wasn’t in Mabel’s wedding, and so I am letting our other common friend, Lucy Bigornia, tell the story of that beautiful sunset ceremony:

It is a wedding that takes 16 years to finally happen.

Yet on the day itself, the bridegroom plays golf. The bride swings by Los Angeles "Divisoria," downtown’s Santee Street, for a last-minute search for a pillow to nestle the rings, finds that too expected, too ordinary, and ends up choosing a silk rose instead.

Only two of the many things that make this one occasion so different, not in grandeur and elegance, but in its unexpected simplicity, spontaneity and pleasant lapses.

It all starts with the invitation: a video of the couple’s beautiful, tennis player daughter Mara asking "with my brother Chino, and my brother Mikko + in spirit, request your cherished presence as my parents exchange vows in... Los Angeles.... and when we come home, celebrate it with a reception the date and place we will let you know, as soon as we get over our jet lag..."

Only five days before the blessed event, bridegroom Maru Sotto planes in from Manila with daughter Mara and meet Maru’s son Chino, who works in LA. But where is the bride?

Mabel Academia herself is getting out of a plane from Toronto, Canada where she has just done her country proud by representing it at the 23rd World Flower Council Summit in Ottawa,Canada, a floral feast attended by the most renowned florists from all over the world. She lugs flowers to be used for her wedding: "labors of love" gifts by two world-renowned award-winning floral designers – Poo Chesdmethee of Thailand for the bridal bouquet’s structure and groom’s buttonnier and fresh flowers designed by JR Nocum, AIFD of Escondido,CA.

You would think the four would be bustling about seeing to it that the wedding turns out flawless. They have other ideas though. The next four days are spent in the home of close friends in San Diego, doing the rounds of tourist sights, shopping outlets, and singing with a karaoke at night and dropped by Universal Studios the day before big day.

Back in LA, Mabel’s cousin, Dr. Ade Quingco, preps everything until the party finally arrives, a little tired but everyone happy.

Why the seeming lack of panic, urgency, attention to details and other stuff that characterize many weddings these days?

Says Mabel, "We want the wedding to be very simple because this is who we are, this is how we feel about each other and about all of you who share our happiness."

The food (chicken gruyere, fresh halibut medallions and grilled prime top sirloin), the almost non-existent decor – except for the lovely, lovely flowers – the house cake, all seem to make a statement of spontaneity and naturalness.. Mara sings "That’s All" a capella, in her beautiful Broadway voice. Everyone who has a digital camera or a cellphone, is official photographer. Even the guests seem to have caught on. No one is dressed resplendently, no one is arrayed in the finest jewelry.

You will never find a wedding like that again: that May 30 Tuesday, at the Castaway, up in the hills of Burbank, California overlooking a wide expanse of golf course and a spectacular twilit view of LA, the pina-gowned bride walking down the garden aisle to the tune of ...what? no violins and cellos? Nope, only the 40 some guests chanting "dyan dyan dyaran" to the tune of Lohengrin’s "Here Comes the Bride." With a naughty smile on her lovely face, Mabel meets long-time companion, father of her child Mara and handsome groom Maru to spend the rest of their simple life together.

* * *

It is never too late, indeed. To go skydiving. To set things right. To receive Holy Communion. To keep a date.

To live happily after.

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