The slow, sure way to happiness

During a recent leave, I was able to catch up, among other things, on my magazines. And I was pleasantly surprised to find out that two easy-read publications I had pored through featured author Carl Honore, and his advocacy, which is "Slow down!" Honore, a journalist, is the author of the book "In Praise of Slowness (Harper San Francisco)," which has quickly become a bestseller in 22 countries!

Because the Philippines has to jumpstart its economy and pole-vault into the next millennium in terms of infrastructure and technology (Boston has a subway system over a century old and the Philippines doesn’t even have a blueprint of one!), no one will ever praise a Filipino for slowing down. Not when there’s a Juan Tamad in every corner sari-sari store or sitting behind a desk in some government office whose only job is to issue permits for permits.

But listen, you are not Juan (or Juana) Tamad and the lack of a subway system that will take you from Alabang to Makati in seven minutes is not your fault. You work hard because keeping up with the Joneses is no longer an affectation in this day and age. It has become an obligation – because Junior has to have an iPod and even the househelp no longer wants to drink water from the taps (they like it bottled, too). If you have kids under 21 and are upwardly mobile or struggling to be so, chances are your schedule is as packed as a tin of sardines (or a bottle of caviar).

According to the International Labor Organization, Asians put in some of the longest working weeks in the world. In Singapore, full-time employees work an average 46 hours per week in 2003, compared to 46.7 hours in Hong Kong, 42.86 hours in the US and 38.6 hours in France! The legal number of working hours in the Philippines is 40 hours for government employees and 48 hours for private sector employees. In the Philippines, we probably deserve our long working hours – some more than others!

The government and your neighbor, who relies on dole-outs from a relative in Saudi, can’t slow down. God knows they have a lot of catching up to do. But you can.

Carl Honore realized that he was living too much on the fast lane when he found himself drawn to a book on one-minute bedtime stories. The book attracted him, because it meant he could breeze through his son’s bedtime stories in less than the time it took to boil an egg. And then he realized, "Have I gone insane?" You don’t rush through fairy tales. You narrate them with action, and the expression you see in your child’s face is the Oscar you get for your superb acting. The day you compress Cinderella or Hansel and Gretel is the day your life’s priorities have gone berserk.

In an interview with Marie Claire, Honore said, "Our culture puts a premium on speed, defying this notion that faster is better, that you must fill every single moment with activity. There’s a powerful taboo that makes "slow" a dirty word. In this hyped-up world, we need to keep an eye on our personal speedometers – it’s very easy to do things fast just because everything else around you is going fast, without even considering whether or not it makes sense.

The price you pay for always being on high gear is this, according to Honore: "Look at the way people eat, wolfing down empty, processed calories. We know this leads to obesity. Your work suffers if you’re in a roadrunner mode, because people need time to rest in order to be productive. Otherwise, you charge into bad decisions (that) you have to go back (to) and fix later. One thing you cannot speed up is the emotional side of life."

Asked how a busy woman could embrace slowness and still be productive, Honore answered: "The first step is simply to do a bit less. Sit and list everything you do in a week, in order of importance. Then, cut from the bottom. Most of us can easily drop a TV show or two. Once you free up a few hours, you can embark on activities that are, by definition, slow – reading or yoga." Other "slow" activities include knitting, cross-stitching, even bird watching!

Honore even suggests that you try not to wear a watch because, "Having the right time in your line of vision is like a symbolic leash, and constantly checking it and saying ‘I have no time’ becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy."

He also suggests creating "one space at home with no technology, and retreat there for at least 15 minutes each day, to sit quietly and think – or not think!"

(I’ve long found this personal space – my bathroom, where I just get lost in my thoughts under the calming canopy of a warm shower.)

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Slowing down isn’t for those who even haven’t started to warm up. But for those who haven’t thought of cooling down after a frenzied workout in life’s arena, maybe it’s time they pressed a cold towel to their brows. Time they switched back to brewed stuff after taking in all the instants of life.

When you slow down, you are able to enjoy each passing moment more. You cannot enjoy a movie when you’re pressing the Fast Forward button. "Moments" don’t last very long, so it is best to savor them. As one text message I got goes, "There is no such thing as a perfect life; only a life with perfect moments."

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I’d like to condole with businessman Frank Evaristo on the death of his beloved mom.

Dr. Adoracion Arce Evaristo, of San Marcelino, Zambales and Bohol Avenue, Quezon City, passed away peacefully last June 18. Her husband, the late Delfin Evaristo, was the city engineer of Iligan City. She was likewise in government service for several years and her last position was assistant city health officer of the City of Iligan. She was one of the pioneer doctors who braved Lanao province at that time and was very active in charitable activities of the place.

Arce Evaristo was also one of the past presidents of the Philippine Association of University Women, Iligan City Chapter and the Iligan City Medical Society. She was a member of Class ’40 of the College of Medicine, University of Santo Tomas. In later years, she was a member and officer of Sparklers, Smiles and New Supremes.

She is survived by her sons, Frank and Percy; her daughter-in-law Leni; her grandchildren, Jun Jun and his wife Armelle; Caroline; Amy; Carlo; Lorraine; Joel and his wife Ashi; Michelle; and great grandchildren; her brothers and sisters. Her son Wilfredo predeceased her and her son Bobby died only last May.

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