The power of love

Tomorrow being Valentine’s Day, I’d like to share with you a love story.

It involved two ordinary people, people you wouldn’t normally read about in society columns.

* * *

It involved a writer named Lucy and her husband of almost 25 years. Lucy was my colleague at a multinational ad agency. I knew Lucy was a good writer. I didn’t realize how good till she came out with a bestseller two years ago.

Her topic? Her husband Jess, who had left her for another woman – two women and a child, actually – and how she was coping with the emptiness.

Lucy’s book (Now The Bed’s all Mine) was a missile. It hit a target – the hearts of villains and victims alike. It spelled out names, took the lid off the pits of emotions. The funny thing is, Jess did not raise hell about the book.

Anyway, a few weeks ago, other former officemates from the same ad agency – Grace Chong, Lily Pasimio, Tere Espiritu and Mabel Academia – and I got together. Lucy wasn’t around, and so we talked about her (don’t we always talk about the one who isn’t present?). Anyway, Grace told us that Lucy’s bed isn’t all hers anymore. I’ll tell you at the end of this piece who she is sharing it with now.

* * *

"Someone once told me, computers and husbands have one thing in common: once you have them, you can’t live without them.

"I’m about to prove that untrue. First my husband has left the family home. Aw, heck. Let’s play it again: my husband has left me for another woman."

That was how Lucy began her book (the last time I heard, Now The Bed’s All Mine was on its fourth printing). When exactly did the s--t hit the ceiling fan? When Lucy decided to trace one number that kept on appearing in her husband’s cell phone bill. One call led to another, and another led to the painful truth.

Her husband had two "concubines" as she put it. She found out about the two of them in 30 days.

"A double whammy in a month’s time. What’s worse is – and I blush as I write this – unknown to me, First Concubine has been part of our lives for 23 years, and as icing to the cake, has an eight-year-old son by him. Don’t laugh, isn’t the wife always the last to know?

"At any rate, it was getting too much for me. My blood pressure was skyrocketing, while my self-esteem was sky-diving.

"So I asked God, do something, please?

"And He answered, Heck you no longer have to be part of this sleaze."

Lucy and Jess’ separation devastated their only son, Sonny Boy. Lucy later wrote Sonny Boy on his graduation, "Please don’t let anger tear at your soul. Someday we might find it in our hearts to forgive him. Realizing and accepting this fact, we now have to move on."

Lucy, of course, had her wounds, but had a strong support system which helped her lick them. I guess the thing to be learned here is that when grieving, don’t be afraid to show the cracks in your soul. Some people might enjoy talking about your misfortune, but as Lucy found out, more people are just too willing to spread some emotional epoxy over your broken heart.

She also found out that looking good wasn’t only the best revenge – it was damn good therapy.

Lucy ends her book with three scenarios: A. I die, and "M" with her usual reverse psy war style as in "it’s okay, you don’t have to marry me" finally succeeds in inveigling Jess to marry her; B. When last seen, Jess is walking the streets of Virginia, a bottle in hand, preserving his dismembered organ, stopping motorists and asking if they know of anybody who would be good enough to reattach it. Meanwhile, I find a Mr. Right in the form of a widower who is a cross between Clint Eastwood now and Kevin Costner 20 years from now; C. I tell him (Jess) pardon will be granted in a place by the River Seine somewhere near the Eiffel Tower... And one night, after shopping and coffee at Champs Elysees, Jess and I, doing a Billy Crystal and a Debra Winger in Forget Paris, dance the waltz at the bank of the River Seine. It is at this moment that I tell Jess, in the fashion of Diane Keaton in First Wives Club, to drop dead."

* * *

So which of the three scenarios came to pass? And who is sharing Lucy’s bed now? The Clint-Kevin lookalike?

According to Grace Chong, Lucy went to her house one day accompanied by – Jess! Later, Lucy would tell Grace, " He has lost everything – his arrogance, his pride, his machismo, and his girls."

"Has he read your book?" Grace, a bestselling author herself, asked.

"Yes. His exact words, ‘I have no anger with what you did’."

And then Lucy told Grace: "Good things come out of bad things."

* * *

According to Grace, "Jess left behind everything that Lucy graphically wrote about in her book so he could start a new life in the US. Lucy joined him four months later." That was in 2001.

Today, Lucy and Jess are still together. And for the sake of all those who believe in the power of love, I hope Lucy and Jess continue to share the same bed for more Valentine’s Days to come.

Clean is in

They believe in the Philippines, and even more so, in a cleaner and more beautiful Philippines.

The ASEAN Ladies Circle (ALC)–whose members are wives of the ASEAN member nations’ ambassadors and charge d’affaires, and lady diplomats of ASEAN embassies–say they are one with the Filipinos’ desire to keep the country beautiful by keeping it clean.

"A lot of people say they want to visit the Philippines," said ALC president Norma Baja, the wife of Senior DFA Undersecretary Lauro Baja, "but they are told, ‘You should not visit the Philippines because of the mountains of garbage’! We at the ALC would like people to be aware that everyone must do his part for the Philippines (and in so doing) help boost tourism."

Baja spoke at the press conference announcing the ALC’s launch this Sunday of their waste management mascot, "Smiling Bossing," who, with broom held in one hand and a dustpan held in another hand, symbolizes the ALC’s commitment to help keep the country clean. The mascot design and the exhortation, "Utos ni Bossing, dumi ay linisin," was created by DLSU-Benilde student Richard Castro who bested entries by students from different parts of the Philippines. He won P25,000.

Helping keep the country clean is just one of the ALC’s numerous projects. Since its establishment in 1996 by Kay Siazon, the wife of then DFA Secretary, Domingo Siazon Jr., and Norma Baja, the ALC has sponsored scholarships for the indigent communities of Smokey Mountain and Payatas, among others; presented cultural dance shows from the different ASEAN countries during a symposium with Tondo students at the inauguration of the ASEAN youth center built by the ALC; distributed medicines to indigent families in depressed areas in Tondo and Quezon City; and held orientation trips to acquaint members of each member country in the hopes of fostering greater understanding.

"We want to take a lead in socio-civic projects," said Norma Baja. "(Engaging in cleanliness projects) is our modest contribution." She added that the ALC plans to tie up with like-minded organizations and to reach out to Filipinos even beyond Metro Manila.

ALC’s "Smiling Bossing" launch will be unveiled at 9 a.m. at the Makati City Park by Dr. Elenita Binay and ALC chairperson, Susana Ople. A motorcade and a bikathon will follow.

(You may e-mail me at [email protected])