How Filipino child-rearing practices affect the student's competence

(Part III – A nation in search of the “new” child, parents and teachers)

Finally, after 25 years, Early Childhood Education has been institutionalized; required for all children aged 5, tuition free in public schools. In spite of the intense work of CONCEP, the National Coordinating Council for Early Childhood Education in the Philippines, Congress and Senate failed to put their acts together to institutionalize Early Childhood Education (ECE). Otherwise, we could have prevented that generation of children from 1987 to 2011 from causing the yearly 30 percent-40 percent dropouts in Grade I all over the country. They in turn have increased the number of adult illiterates.

The United Nations, through UNESCO has constantly warned our government that of the UNMDG, two goals are not likely to be met: universal primary education and the reduction of maternal and infant mortality rate.

In search of the ‘new’ parents

Societies differ on who cares for the child and what feelings are involved for the caregiver and the child himself, according to a study of George Guthrie and Pepita Jacobs, who did a comparative study comparing the child rearing practices of American and Filipino mothers. Mr. Guthrie, an American visiting professor, collaborated with the lady professor Jacobs in PNU to do this study using their college students to interview 279 Filipino middle class housewives (1965). They matched this with Guthrie’s study of American housewives. In Jamaica, where mothers usually work in nightclubs, daughters are more valued than sons. However, child rearing is often left to grandmothers who are associated with family, land and inheritance. In this society, children are “women’s business.”

In contrast with the matriarchal society of Jamaica, China gives importance to the father-son relationship. In Chinese families, the father had to raise his son in the tradition of his ancestors to perform his duties properly in both the material and spiritual worlds. The son had to honor and obey his father. After the father’s death, his son had to observe the same ritual with his own son. The Chinese mother-son relationship had less importance (Hsu, 1948).

How European and American parents encourage independence

European and American mothers encourage their children to be self reliant and assertive. In contrast to the extended Asian families where grandparents, aunts or uncles may substitute as babysitters, American mothers find themselves juggling house cleaning, marketing, cooking and seeing off their husbands and older children to work, so that the young child learns early to dress and eat by himself.

Conditioned to help oneself and to help mother in the household, Western children are encouraged early to accept responsibilities, learn to make decisions and accept the consequences of their behavior.

The Filipino concept of independence

From birth, the Filipino child constantly receives attention and help not only from parents but from two sets of relatives, from his father’s and mother’s side. This was the prevalent development pattern of child-adult relationships in the Philippines between the ’50s and ’60s, when Filipinos tolerated this child’s lengthy dependence on them. It was even mislabeled as “closeness, cooperation, respect and duty” for adults. Guthrie and Jacobs observed, “The Philippines’ ideal is not self-sufficiency and independence, but rather family sufficiency and refined sense of reciprocity” or “utang na loob.”

To Filipino parents, the Filipino child is of no economic value until he becomes Grade I in formal school. When the public school system was established by the Americans for the Filipinos, seven years was considered the school age entry as stated in the 1935 Constitution. After the ’60s, it was lowered so that six-year-olds may enroll in Grade I. Then, Filipino children have been attending private kindergarten schools as early as the age of five or even four. This pressured public school principals to set up even unofficially, some sort of preschool classes in the premises. (During DECS Secretary Armand Fabella’s term, with the EDCOM national survey of all Philippine schools, preschools began to be officially recognized.)

Is the Filipino child encouraged to speak out?

Often, Filipino grade schoolers are regarded as shy and silent compared with their Western counterparts. During the first six years, Filipino children are like any in the world — talkative and spontaneous. They are then encouraged to express themselves within family circles. But when they begin to reason out between six to 12 years, the elementary school age, adults fail to respect their right to express themselves — a right guaranteed by the Convention on the Rights of the Child (CRC).

Guthrie observed, “The child is expected to accept reprimands without retort or murmur.” The child comes to see parental monologue as the expression of a parent’s love and concern. He is inhibited to express resentment.

How quarrels among playmates are settled

When the child gets into a quarrel between the ages of four to eight, especially with the neighbor’s children, mothers hold a minor court of inquiry: “Who was at fault? Why? When? Where?”… Punishment is meted right away. At fault or not, the child receives advice. “God loves good children… Stay home and don’t play with the neighbors.”

Consequently, the Filipino child develops the habit of “sumbong” — that is, running home and squealing to his parents all the faults of the next-door offender, naturally giving only his side of the quarrel. Filipino children grow up often clinging to an external power, including the elder siblings “kuya” or “ate”. It would be healthier if parents would let go, encouraging the child to play fairly, develop his own judgment and do his own fighting.

On the other hand, the American child is usually told by his parents not to tell on his friends. Instead, he is firmly directed to go back and settle his own quarrels with his playmates. American parents prefer not to be involved in children’s minor fights.

The Filipino child’s feelings

What are the various expressions of affection? Younger children sit on a parent’s lap, wrap their arms around his neck, kiss the parent’s cheeks or forehead, stroke his arms, or ask for presents or money. Most parents welcome this.

One strong expression of emotion is termed “tampo” — to feel hurt or offended. Perceived injustice or unfairness gives rise to sulking. “You never know when she’ll get that way, but usually it is when she doesn’t get what she wants, or when she is yelled at.”

The Western parents hire babysitters when they go out to parties. Filipino parents are uneasy about leaving their children with relatives at home. Sensing this, children can exploit parents’ uncertainty. In turn, mothers “bribe” the children or sneak out. In avoiding an outright denial of the child’s wish, there is little attempt to make the child accept the fact that the mother must sometimes leave the house or to let the child cry, knowing that he will eventually get over it.

Redirecting the ‘new’ parents’ child rearing practices is urgent

The Guthrie-Jacobs study concludes that there appears to be little value attached to early development of independence. As long as the family situation permits someone else to minister to his needs, a child has plenty of time to learn. This is an erroneous attitude for the preschool years are the best years to condition a child to love work and develop a strong character and personality.

Four decades have passed. The Filipino family has undergone a drastic change. Mothers now go to work. Relatives often work abroad as overseas contract workers. Unless adults learn to recognize the true nature of children, their bad traits acquired in early childhood are irreversible.