The challenge of forgiveness

If you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.       — Matthew 6:14

In the heat of an argument, my wife came up with an acute theological insight. We were discussing my shortcomings in a rather spirited way when she said, “I think it’s pretty amazing that I forgive you for some of the dastardly things you’ve done!”

What struck me about her comment was its sharp perception into the nature of forgiveness. It is not a sweet platonic ideal to be dispersed in the world like air-freshener sprayed from a can. Forgiveness is achingly difficult, and long after you’ve forgiven, the wound lives on in memory. Forgiveness is an unnatural act, and my wife was protesting its blatant unfairness.

A story from Genesis captures much the same sentiment. The brothers that Joseph struggled to forgive were the very ones who had bullied him, had cooked up schemes to murder him, had sold him into slavery. Though he went on to triumph over adversity and though with all his heart he now wanted to forgive these brothers, he could not bring himself to that point — not yet.

I view Genesis 42-45 as Joseph’s way of saying, “I think it’s pretty amazing that I forgive you for the dastardly things you’ve done!” When grace finally broke through, the sound of Joseph’s grief and love echoed through the palace. What was that wail? It was the sound of a man forgiving.       — Philip Yancey

Oh, what joy and peace we forfeit,

When forgiveness we withhold;

Fellowship with God is broken,

And the heart grows hard and cold.   — D. De Haan

READ: Genesis 45:1-15

We can stop forgiving others when Christ stops forgiving us.

The Bible in one year:

• Deuteronomy 19-21

• Proverbs 28:15-28