Bato, Bato: Pick!

It was with bemusement that I read that Senator Bato de la Rosa has gone into hiding.

Well, okay, maybe he hasn’t admitted to hiding himself. Maybe he’s just not telling us where he is. Safe at a secret location, a location which he will not divulge. But coupled with the newsflash that he is thinking of evading the service of a warrant of arrest from the International Criminal Court (ICC), what are we to think?

We all know he once thundered and blustered about flying to The Hague to be with Rodrigo Duterte. The potential arrest warrant was scoffed at. But now, after his boss was summarily flown to the Netherlands, he has had a change of heart, and asks us this important question: why surrender?

Why indeed?

There are many reasons why one accused of a crime should surrender. Aside from being granted a venue to defend one’s name, and to establish one’s innocence, and to clear the stains caused by accusations galore (all the mundane stuff we call “due process” in the normal world), it does drain some stress away from all that hiding and lying and evading.

What a relief! No more need to do that cloak and dagger stuff. An opportunity to avoid the accompanying psychological toll. One just needs to lay back in a cozy room, enjoy round-the-clock attention, and take comfort in the knowledge that first-world medical facilities are available in a heartbeat (or lack thereof). I’m sure streaming services can be subscribed to for a euro or so, and one can watch movies galore. Appealing, much?

The Palace notes that as former head of the Philippine police, Senator Bato should set an example to all other able-bodied men who have had the fortune to be issued an arrest warrant. So true, and as a sitting senator, Bato should lead by example! What a wonderful opportunity to demonstrate his able leadership, his courageous convictions!

What a gift. At least, there has been notice of the state’s intentions. “Face the music!” is the refrain. Unlike all those other citizens who were summarily killed without notice of what they were supposed to have done, an arrest warrant is a document every alleged criminal should be grateful for.

Of course, it may hamper Bato’s present reelection campaign to regain his seat as senator of the republic. It will be harder to muster votes while safely ensconced in Europe. But hasn’t he invoked God in so many political rallies?

Perhaps, the good senator can place his belief where his mouth is, and let the Lord determine his success. If he wins, then such victory is god’s will and not at all the millions of voters whose hands were guided by some fickle spirit to tick the box beside his name. And if he loses, well, then. Perhaps that was the Lord’s will as well? More time given to hear the catechisms in one’s comfy quarters?

When (not if) the arrest warrant comes the pearly shores’ way, perhaps the government can offer a reward for information regarding Senator Bato’s location. A small tidy sum one can sock away for future retirement. Perfect timing! Right in time for Holy Week, a time for reflection, one which we can use to muse whether we should cash in on the information we possess on his whereabouts, and then speedily make up our minds about joining the untraditional Easter egg hunt. Yoo-hoo! Peek-a-boo!

Senate President Chiz Escudero has announced that Senator Bato may seek the protection of the Senate should the arrest warrant come. Honestly, Chiz, you’re being a spoilsport. That is no fun for Bato seekers, because the game of hide and seek will summarily end if Senator Bato takes up your offer and camps out in the Senate. What an EJK. Then every Juan, Vic, and Harry will know where the precious stone is. Shall we then be treated to scenes such as what we saw re the impeached Korean prez?

Well, that’s another reason why Senator Bato should not evade arrest. Welcome it, senator, and fight the glorious fight against those foreign interfering busybodies. Take the battle where they are! Who’s afraid of international law? Certainly, not you!