Ideal father figure

Many of us grew up without fathers in the family, or they were physically absent while growing up. It is common for fathers to leave home in search of greener pastures, as providers for the family. However, my case is rather rare, as I grew up under the care of my father. It was a challenge, I'd have to admit. Considering the many differences in gender, on top of the generation gap, we were always disagreeing on many instances. However, I have come to understand that fathers will always do their best to protect their children.

There is never really an "ideal" father figure in every family. Society dictates to us that there are certain roles that fathers should play. The media taught us that it is the father who has to work for food in the family; it’s the father who’s better at repairing the house; and many more. However, I believe that they should not stereotyped. There are fathers now who can do hair and makeup for their daughters, who can cook, and who stay at home.

What then is the definition of a father? The concept of fathering goes beyond associating masculine roles with a parent. Fathering is teaming up with a significant other to raise the family. In the absence of one, the father assumes both roles and makes sure the children grow up to be good citizens. They shelter and act as role models. Their ideals and principles make up our foundation. If I wasn't embedded in my dad's values and work ethics, I'm sure I'd be a totally different person today. I'm guessing I would be complacent and apathetic to the world around me.

I get that some of you may feel a pang of anger towards your father. If it helps, I did feel that too. I wanted to destroy every ounce of happiness he felt for allowing me to grow up in a dysfunctional family. However, as I aged, I realized that all the pent-up anger will never get me anywhere. It will only continue to bring me and my own potential down. He also deserves to be happy, even if we don't understand how he defines happiness.

Our church used to say "pray for your fathers." I understand that as well. We need men who will be brave enough to weather the storm not only with their family but with the whole community instead. That bravery isn’t only translated to strength but also the will to make sound decisions for the family. If we remember our history lessons, it was the fathers in the "Banwa" that defended their people. They charted the direction of the whole tribe. For sure, their foresight is inherent in all of them, just as fathers should. As we celebrate Father's Day tomorrow, take time off to spend time with the tatays and papas in your family. They also want a little break.