A life worth living

It’s traditionally the happiest time of the year. But what does a despondent person do when he sees most everyone else being merry?

Suicide may become an attractive option. Sadly, suicide is in the news in this season of cheer because of reports of celebrities who appear to have taken their own lives.

On Dec. 17, veteran actor Ronaldo Valdez was found unresponsive in his room at his Quezon City home, from a gunshot to the head. He was reportedly struggling with cancer and the gunshot appeared to be self-inflicted, although a police probe is still on.

Last Wednesday, South Korean movie star Lee Sun-kyun was found dead in his car in Seoul. The star of Oscar Best Picture “Parasite” and other K-drama hits such as “My Mister” had been under police investigation for illegal drugs that he said he was tricked into using by a bar hostess. He was starting to lose TV and commercial contracts, according to news reports.

In the Philippines, that kind of bad publicity could earn a celebrity sufficient notoriety for a successful career shift to politics, after which he can then commit homicide against his accusers and bashers. But Korean culture is different.

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The stories of Valdez and Lee revived speculative stories about depression rising and suicide rates at their highest during Christmastime and the dark winter months.

Numerous articles on psychology websites, however, say this is not true.

Even in the Nordic countries, where the sun may be visible only for three hours of the day at the start of winter, and not rise at all during “polar nights,” the darkness may induce depression, but the suicides rise with the onset of spring, according to suicide monitoring groups.

One possible explanation, according to the experts, is that the sight of people becoming cheerful as the sun comes out deepens the despondency of those who see no reason to be glad about existence.

And during Christmas, gatherings of families and friends, and even joyful communion among strangers, tend to ease depression, according to the psychologists.

They point out that based on data, the highest suicide rates in many countries are recorded during springtime.

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The weather surely had nothing to do with the apparent suicide of South Korea’s Lee last Wednesday. I enjoyed his work in “Parasite” and several K-drama TV serials such as “Coffee Prince” and “Pasta,” so I found the news particularly distressing.

South Korea has tough laws for illegal drug use of its citizens even if committed overseas. And it has the highest suicide rate among the developed countries: 13,300 self-inflicted deaths were recorded in 2021 alone.

Lee’s death has drawn attention in the Philippines not only because of his international renown but also because suicide and other mental health problems are increasing in our country.

Most families that go through the tragedy prefer not to discuss it in public. But others think sharing their tragedy may help raise awareness of mental health issues and prevent more suicides.

This was the explanation given by grieving relatives of British supermodel Stella Tennant, 50, when they announced that she died by suicide on Dec. 22, 2020.

Her family told the UK’s The Telegraph that it is “important to raise awareness around mental health, as far too often it is misunderstood… it is a matter of our deepest sorrow and despair that she felt unable to go on, despite the love of those closest to her.”

Designer and wellness advocate Jean Lim Goulbourn channeled her grief over the loss of her daughter Natasha into a suicide prevention advocacy under the Natasha Goulbourn Foundation, founded in 2007. Natasha had died in Hong Kong on May 25, 2002 from a drug overdose as she battled depression. She was 27 years old.

Jeannie Goulbourn said calls to the foundation’s help hotline (as in other mental health hotlines elsewhere) spiked during the COVID lockdowns.

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An article posted in New York-based magazine Psychology Today cited six key reasons – based on mental health care data – why people attempt suicide.

The first is the obvious: depression. Another reason is psychosis – people who hear voices telling them to take their own life, for example, or who are schizophrenic.

A third reason is acting on impulse, usually due to drug abuse or drunkenness. Those who survive this may regret their suicide attempt.

The fourth is that the suicide attempt is a cry for help, an effort to draw other people’s attention. I know a woman with marital problems who swallowed a poisonous substance in front of her pre-adolescent daughter, but then regretted it and asked to be rushed to the hospital. Unfortunately, the woman did not survive.

A fifth reason is a philosophical desire to die, to ease personal suffering and take control of one’s life. These are usually those with terminal illness and no hope of reprieve; in certain countries, they are legally allowed to seek euthanasia.

Lastly, there is the accidental suicide. This may happen to teens testing a dangerous trend, such as oxygen deprivation.

Mental health care professionals admit the difficulty of pulling back from the brink a person contemplating suicide.

In this season of joy, however, a professor of psychology posted an article last month, which might help persons suffering from depression (and who might be harboring suicidal thoughts) as well as their families.

Dr. David A. Jobes is also the director of the Suicide Prevention Laboratory and associate director of clinical training at The Catholic University of America.

In an article also on Psychology Today titled, “New Mission: Pursuing a Life Worth Living,” Jobes wrote (italics his):

“When we pull together all these various considerations, we can begin to operationally define what seems to make life worth living. The accumulated takeaway thus far? There is value in living life with conscious intent, pursuing one’s self-defined plans and goals, and discovering meaningful work, love, and play. While I have neither personally nor professionally figured it all out, I believe that the pursuit of a life worth living can become both a compelling and worthwhile mission for us all.”