I still remember the exact moment I realized I would trick my mom into signing my Benilde application forms. Sorry, mom. I was 17 and taking STEM; up to my usual exam strategy of crying while taking a calculus test. Because how do you even define logarithms with limits of infinity?
I remember the location: confined in a four-wall classroom; sandwiched between my classmates who seemed to have the answer to every question. I remember the lighting: overhead white fluorescent bulbs, two large windows with a view teasing me of a world beyond Mr. Salazar’s midterm. I remember what I was holding: a grey Casio scientific calculator and a purple 0.5 mechanical pencil that I still have to this day. I knew by the third question that my family was not going to have a cardiac surgeon.
With Asian household dreams thrown to the wind, I took up a niche course under the School of Arts, Culture and Performances called AB Production Design. So niche that Benilde is the only college to offer this course in the country. So niche that my course only has nine graduates here today.
Production Design is the art of creating a story world for film, television and theater. Our trade is in creating and filling up spaces to tell stories. We take up the left wing of the 5th floor of the Design and Arts Campus building. We wear a repetition of black shirts and rundown shoes with paint splatters. And no matter how hard we try, we always smell faintly of sawdust, spray paint and super glue.
But I wouldn’t have it any other way. Even if I had to go against expectations to be here.
We were taught this thing called the “production design concept.” These are fancy words for the “overall theme” and “motivation” of any event, movie and TV show. It answers the question: “Why do we need to tell this story?” We needed to answer this in every class. Over and over, “Why do we need to remake Ariel?” “Why is Barbie still important?” “Why is Hamilton still relevant two centuries later?”
After we answer the “why?” questions, we design. Designing answers to the “how?” questions. “How do we bring the story justice?” “How do we visualize the theme?” Clothes and colors are great ways to convey these messages. The curtains are blue because the character is sad. The main Power Ranger is in red. Wizards have to wear long robes and carry wands. But my specialty is in set design.
I love set design because I am intrigued by the power locations have over us. We associate places with feelings and memories. PICC feels like relief and dread at the same time. Blackboards with equations, for me, feel like life as a result of dreams that weren’t mine. Benilde reminds me of vast, expansive theaters that could be configured and reconfigured into cities, rooms, forests and anywhere my mind could wander.
I’ve read maybe over a thousand stories, delved into dozens of scripts for class and sketched pages upon pages of costumes, sets and props till I finally understood that everything needs to be designed. Everything. You. Me. Every waking moment. We don’t need tangible source material. We are the source material. We are the writer, main character, stylist, stage manager, make-up artist and clean-up crew of our story. Shakespeare is right – All the world is a stage. And stages are spaces that need to be designed. Destiny is not written in stone. If we take passive control of our story, fate will not be inclined to give us the results we want.
I am thankful for my stay in Benilde, it gave me the space to actualize the dreams I sidelined in the margins of my physics notebooks. Thank you as well to my parents for giving me the liberty to turn our house into a design studio and warehouse.
However, beyond Benilde is a space we are yet to occupy. It’s daunting to think about it. I’m scared too. There are new places to explore, new characters to meet and new treasures to discover. As graduates, we’re tasked to change the world, earn for our families, save the turtles and do great things. But I hope you, me and everyone here start with our “production design concept” and answer the question: “Why is my story worth living?”
I hope we find our own spaces to design. I hope we change canon events and break generational curses. I hope we all get to dress the way we want, look the way we want and love who we want. Beyond leaving a lasting legacy, I hope we start with ourselves. And craft our stories to create a life with a world we want to live in.
Follow your dreams. Follow your heart. Follow me on Tiktok.
* * *
Ms. Cagalingan graduated from the College of St. Benilde with a BA degree in Production Design, summa cum laude.