Deprived and denied

After convincing an indigent couple to start attending church two months ago, the lady texted me one Sunday evening and told me about a “mass wedding” that was being arranged for couples who would like to get married.

I was surprised to learn that the couple was not married in spite of the fact that they already had five kids, the eldest of whom was 16 years and had already gotten his “girlfriend” pregnant and who had given birth several months ago, but are not legally allowed to wed. Unwed couples per se don’t shock me, neither do teenage pregnancies and teenage parents. It’s long been the ironic reality in our “deeply religious,” “Catholic” or “Christian” society.

Many people keep saying that unless a couple is married, they will not be blessed or receive the favor of God. I don’t think the poorest of the poor or the truly indigent couples can relate to that assertion, given how poverty for them is indicative of not being blessed by God or men. So why are the religious not making more of an effort to address the root cause as well as the resulting numbers of unwed Catholics and Christians?

I encouraged the lady and her husband to sign-up and I promised to follow-up with the church as well as help them with the cost of getting their paperwork. Given that it was a church sponsored event, I mistakenly assumed that church workers already had a plan, a program or had set things up prior to the announcement. I was so mistaken!

After two weeks of not hearing about the mass wedding, I decided to call the couple to find out if there was already a date for the wedding. Instead I was told that the couple decided to forego their plans because they did not have the requirements and it would be too difficult for them to get the requirements because they were “poorer than church mice.”

It seems that churches only teach or guide couples on what they need to get and then the church will take care of the ceremony. Some churches give financial assistance but you’re still on your own as far as getting the requirements are concerned.

One thing led to another, and I almost ended up writing a full-scale investigative report on how so many poor women in the Philippines are deprived and denied and robbed of their dignity as far as marriage is concerned, all because of the tedious, expensive and complicated process of getting the necessary documents.

Many times, we hear about mass weddings from churches or municipalities or city halls, especially just before campaign periods where politicians stand as ninongs or ninangs. The venue is free, light snacks are given free and the fees for the officiating officer or priest is often covered by a politician, usually only on an election year. But, the couples still have to go through the intimidating, humiliating and tedious process of getting the following:

*Certified true copy of you and your partner’s NSO birth certificates (1 original and 2 photocopies), P365 online with delivery each.

*Affidavit of parental consent or advice for those who are between 18 and 21 years old. P200-500. If the parents are deceased you have to get a death certificate.

*Certificate of No Marriage (CENOMAR) or Certificate of Singleness (1 original and 1 photocopy). This document will prove that neither of the marrying party has been married before. P430 each.

*Certificate of Attendance in a pre-marriage counseling, family planning and responsible parenthood seminar. P150 marriage counseling. Church fees P6,000 upwards. Civil wedding/ mayor fees P300 upwards. judge P5,000 upwards.

*Community Tax Certificate or Cedula (1 original and 2 photocopies) P5 upwards each (P1 per P1,000 gross earnings).

*Barangay clearance (1 original and 1 photocopy) P5 upwards.

*At least 2 valid IDs. Recent 1 x 1 photo (colored or black and white). Marriage license application form (issued by the Local Civil Registrar’s office) P200 plus P50 notarization.

In addition to all these, the couple who are daily wage earners, like many others, have to commute to the local and national agencies concerned and camp in line to file applications, requests or forms. Then they have to take several trips to retrieve whatever certificate has been approved and bring these to the next window or office. All these require time and money, plus finding a relative or neighbor to watch over toddlers or kids.

Bottomline is, if we include jeepney, tricycle fare and food for at least five days of following up, the couple is looking at spending anywhere from P6,000 to P7,000 in total. Indigent people don’t have that lying around the house. The average provincial laborer gets P400 to P500 a day and is lucky to have regular work for more than a week straight. With that they have to make ends meet to feed a family of five!

For many poor Filipinos, the two biggest challenges in getting their documentation are having no money and their limited literacy, especially when half of the forms are only in English or Tagalog. If you can barely read or write, how are you supposed to even “download” or “apply online” or survive multiple processing for all the required documents just to get married? No wonder so many people have not registered their SIM cards!

The national government wastes hundreds of millions of pesos on computers that are under spec, vehicles that are over-priced, vaccines and medicines that expire, giving away ambulances to LGUs that have more money than they can spend, but government can’t simplify, fast track, reduce the cost of documentation for getting married. This is the best example of being  ANTI POOR, Anti-Women and Anti-Family!