Farewell, Chito

Today, I am giving space to my wife, Neni Sta. Romana Cruz. Excerpts from remarks made at the family Novena Mass.

I lost my younger brother Chito ten days ago and today, it still seems so unreal. I actually should be used to his absence from the family by now, for even as siblings still living in the same happy home with our parents, Chito was hardly home. He was always off to some meeting or another. But that is not to say we were prepared to lose him in exile in China for 14 years.

I remember how painful it was for my parents to see Chito’s name emblazoned as a subversive in print and broadcast media. Why, there was even a price on Chito’s head.

But how could my parents complain when Chito was named after Santiago Lucero, our maternal grandfather who was senator but detained and court-martialled for defying Spanish authorities. How proudly Chito carried that name, Santiago and that the Plaza Lucero in our hometown, Cabanatuan City, where Antonio Luna was slain was named after him.

He was not wont to complain and I only heard quite by accident the toll the years of exile took on Chito. Teach for the Philippines (TFP) had invited Chito and Jaime FlorCruz to a Teach for All conference in Baoshan, Yunan province in 2013  and I, as TFP trustee and writer, was to engage them in a fireside conversation/interview one evening. When asked what was most difficult about the exile, his eloquence banished and he was momentarily stalled by emotion for he said, with his voice breaking, that it was discovering that Papa had died from an obituary notice in old stray newspapers.

In 1986, when Cory Aquino became president, he came home in triumph, savoring all that he had missed during the many long years. There were the many typical family reunions which he enjoyed going to, making up for the many lost years. And countless friends to renew ties with, especially his La Salle friends from childhood to college.

I told him I was relieved he was back home to take my place in our endless clan reunions – something that could be a chore but to him, something he enjoyed, keeping track of our constellation of first cousins. He was most concerned about our sister Chona, whom we lost in tragic circumstances, and Victor, the son she left behind. With Chito’s return, Victor became happily part of our family again.

It pains us knowing that he died all alone in his luxurious hotel room in Huangshan as he was on his second week of the mandatory quarantine prior to returning to his post at the Philippine embassy in Beijing. But I am glad he did not survive only to be attached to lifesaving devices. It was comforting that his passing happened in a country that he considers his second home.

At our last family Sunday lunch on March 20 – our first such gathering since our El Nido Christmas reunion in 2019 – as he wound up his official working visit, he spoke of his eagerness to wind up his tour of duty as ambassador on June 30 and fly home to begin another chapter of his life.

Chito, what a turn of events that after your retirement from ABC News, a second career awaited you, bringing you back to Beijing, the city that provided safe refuge for you when our country was at its depths both politically and economically.

There has been a surfeit of praises for all the work you have done. But in these difficult past days when Nelin, your twin and I have had constant meetings with your two sons, Norman and Chris, what stood out was seeing how you and Nancy have raised them so wonderfully. Norman had to be brought out of Shanghai lockdown by the Chinese and Philippine foreign ministries to make final arrangements for you in Huangshan, all alone except for our Zoom company but with your solicitious Beijing embassy staff. After the Huangshan farewell ceremony two days ago which we witnessed via Zoom, with everyone in the courtyard, I wondered why Norman rushed back to see you. He had a final message, “Dad, rest in peace now. Don’t worry, we will take care of Mom.”

Chris, in your Serendra home with Nancy, was concerned about giving her the chance to see you one last time before the public viewing.

It suddenly became clear to me why you had to come to Manila upon the call of Sec. Teddy Boy, leaving you wondering because of your June 30 retirement and Beijing’s strict quarantine restrictions. Thanks to DFA demands, Nancy and Chris spent a month with you.

Your leaving us so suddenly reminds us of how fragile, how transitory, how fleeting life is. You had a lively Zoom on Easter Sunday with Nelin, Norman, Chris. On the morning of Easter Monday, you were still messaging me. Your phone showed you messaging the Shanghai consul-general about an OFW complaint at noon. And then no one heard from you anymore.

Your going leaves a heavy burden and much pain, but how consoling to know that yours was a life richly and fully lived. The years of exile and the dark years of the dictatorship may have robbed you of your youth and your many dreams, but your last years allowed you your dream to serve the country.

If indeed, it was your heart that gave way, I worried about what heavy burdens were weighing it down. What were you carrying in your heart? I felt for you who never ever complained about professional challenges nor any other pressing concerns, not even when Nancy had a massive stroke in 2015.

Farewell, Chito – freed from all that now, I send you off with much love.

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