Beyond words

I grew up with a father who worked tirelessly for the family, working in every imaginable way possible just to make both ends meet. From the cinema industry to establishing his own small business is what made us all live, grow and have our own families. Hard work became a major requirement for the family to survive. But beyond this is the ability to unite the family by taking every opportunity for the family members to gather and celebrate memorable milestones such as birthdays, anniversaries, and Christmas celebrations. And if the budget would allow, I remember Saturdays were memorable because of simple gatherings at the beach.

Every bond is unique and full of love in our lives. We share close attachment to our mothers, an emotional bond with our siblings, but there is something different with the relationship between a father and child. Like the pillar of strength and security for a child, a father is a real-life superhero. Thus, every year Father’s Day is celebrated on the third Sunday of June.

On Father’s Day, people make many efforts to make their father know that they are loved and respected every day. Its inspiration and formal recognition just came several years after the Mother’s Day. And in the US for instance, Father’s Day gifts and cards in 2016 reached a total of $12.5 billion while mothers got $19.9 billion worth of goodies. And this gap is an annual phenomenon. But the importance of fathers to their children must not be denied or ignored. Fathers provide much more than half of the child’s genetic material. They provide a second pair of hands especially needed in caring for the young. They serve as an additional source of the unconditional love that is essential to every child. They bring in money, they teach specific “guy” things, and are the adult male role model.

Participatory fatherhood is actually one of the best things that could happen to children. Many children perceive their father as distant, hard to get close to. But today’s fathers, as I observed, have been liberated from the stereotype of the impersonal man. Unafraid or unashamed to experience emotional closeness to their children, they spend more time with their children and helping more around the house than ever before. Many fathers are the principal caregivers during the day when most of parenting takes place. Some of them are unemployed, some work opposite shifts from the mother, some are single parents raising children on their own.

Though Papa Francing is gone after battling with, I can still remember his encouragement. He believed in me and because of this I learned to believe in myself. He expressed his high expectations, used encouragement liberally and taught me hard work and responsibility. I instinctively knew as a child how important my father’s time and attention were. Now I know that high expectations coupled with gentle encouragement are the essence of good parenting.

As we celebrate the Father’s Day tomorrow, may this be a day to recall, recognize and remember the unconditional love, endless efforts, initiatives, and contributions of all the fathers around us.

Let us also honor all the fatherly figures like stepfathers, grandfathers, uncles or even big brothers. Mabuhi ang mga papa, tatay, tatang, daddy, and those who spend their time and show their love as fathers to others! Our gratefulness for all of them is beyond words.