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Opinion

‘Lolos’ – good and bad

CTALK - Cito Beltran - The Philippine Star

Like a blast from the past, I received a call from my friend Jun, a road safety expert, and I automatically assumed we would be talking about cars, traffic, or road safety. I was pleasantly surprised and delighted that our talk would be about spiritual concerns related to his grandson.

In this day and age of “work – work – work” and constant state of busyness, I rarely hear about parents and in Jun’s case, Lolos, going out of their way to check on the spiritual directions and choices of their children or grandchildren. What I often hear are disagreements or objections raised by elders when they hear that their children or grandchildren mingle or attend events or church services of a different “religion” or denomination. What is noticeable is that the intensity or volume of their objection is directly proportional to the degree of their ignorance or cluelessness.

I was delighted because Jun was actually concerned and interested to know about “my church.” It seems Jun’s grandson has recently been attending Victory Christian Fellowship a.k.a Every Nation Ministries. Being part of a “Protestant congregation,” Jun was not outrageously concerned about his grandson’s direction but Jun was putting into practice his lifelong executive experience of finding out and knowing what he did not – before expressing an opinion or objection. More than anything, he needed reassurance that his beloved grandson was doing the right thing by joining the “right” crowd. His love for his grandson was such that he was just as concerned about his “spiritual walk.”

This is not the first time I have heard of such concerns and I often point out to frantic or panicked parents that it’s better for their sons and daughters to go to a “different” church than to go to different bars or beds. I have also advised them to express their love and concern and most especially their respect for the youth by asking to or joining them at such events or worship services. Outright objection is the worst form of argument. Without wanting to, you end up being dismissive if not disrespectful of the young person’s view and interest. I have on a few occasions accepted an invitation or challenge to attend services of other religions and denomination. Doing so always wins their respect.

If you are afraid that attending a “different church” or religious service might taint you, influence you or disrupt your beliefs, then chances are whatever you were standing on is clearly not solid ground. While we’re on the subject, now might be a good time as any to seriously evaluate how much time and activity do you devote to the “religion” you claim to follow or your spiritual label. Are you the minimalist type who do snapshot prayers and one hour service enhanced by alms consisting of loose change? Or are you seriously reading and living the actual teachings of your chosen “God.”

I was once asked to do a “Work – Life Balance” exercise and all I needed to do was flash a single slide on the screen reflecting a grid or boxes with 24 hours on the top and various concerns such as WORK – WIFE – KIDS – HOUSE – EXERCISE – CHURCH – SELF IMPROVEMENT – SOCIALS – REST.  The grids went on for seven days and the participants simply had to shade what time and how much time they invested on each concern.

Needless to say, most participants put in about 12 hours for work when you include preparation and commute. The wife and kids averaged one hour a day and the revelation was that the kids were programmed to sleep past the generally correct time of 9 p.m. so Mom or Dad could spend “quality time” with them. Wife or spouse usually got more time simply by virtue of sleeping in the same room. Exercise was 30 minutes to an hour if at all and self-improvement led to half empty slots because some did not even recognize the need. No they were not perfect, they were simply ignorant of the benefits. Socials got more accumulated time than the house and household. Church got one hour a week!

That last one was ironic because most of us would argue the loudest about “faith” and yet in reality, in terms of time and importance, our scores would reveal that we don’t walk the talk. It’s not about what religion you tick on the box, it is about how our life and loves reflect our faith and our God. I truly admire Lolo Jun because he gets that and he knows that it is also his responsibility to guide, nurture and train up a child in the way he must walk so that when he grows up he does not depart from it.  To all the parents and grandparents who put as much or greater value to spiritual concerns as well as courses and diplomas, CONGRATULATIONS!

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This part of the articles speaks to Lolos and Lolas who are “Pasaway,” abusive or use their “SENIOR CITIZEN” status to get ahead or bully others.  Being a Senior Citizen I hear and see things about this problem but the worst I’ve heard is an incident where a doctor flunked a senior citizen and disqualified him from renewing his driver’s license due to his medical condition.

The elderly guy marched straight to the office of the chief of the licensing agency and demanded that his license be renewed. The Office chief explained that No Medical Clearance = No driver’s license. The senior citizen lost it and started poking and hitting the LTO officer with his cane! That of course sealed his fate because his flareup and attack confirmed he was not just medically unfit but behaviorally affected.

Other incidents involve Senior Citizen versus Senior Citizen where some would pull seniority claiming they are older and should therefore be allowed to cut in front of the line! Some demand priority because they are taxpayers. Be careful with this line because many civil servants will now answer back and say: We are also taxpayers and we get deducted every payday!

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Email: [email protected]

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