Career ending parties

Just when I started to think there were fewer Christmas parties this year, the flood came and with it even tears.

Just about every night of last week had at least one or two parties on the calendar and interestingly, companies seem to follow the “Two birds with one stone” philosophy by timing their Christmas parties alongside a product launch, a thanksgiving, or some milestone or another. It was certainly a cheaper way of doing things.

This week, there will be just as many parties and it seems the standard has been to fuel these with lots of food and alcohol. But my mythical friends “Naya” “Vino” and “Miguel” are a bit upset for the bad press and all the blame they have been getting from a bunch of wild and reckless individuals. Every year, as Christmas approaches and all through the holiday season, people go out of their way to make sure that “Naya,” “Vino” and “Miguel” are in every party from Aparri to Jolo but most especially all over Metro Manila. They are the rock stars of Christmas parties and they allegedly always help people forget the blues, get over their inhibitions and are associated with making every party lots of fun.

While the popularity and the exaggerated attributions are flattering, the party trio have been getting a lot of bad press and are being blamed for things that are not in their power. It seems that a number of men and women, professionals even, have been indulging themselves in the company of “Naya,” “Vino” and “Miguel” like groupies that can’t get enough of a celebrities and rock stars. The problem is these same men and women or “party animals” have apparently been going over board or actually jumping in the sack or having “unprofessional” sex with co-workers, so-called friends, even total strangers that they just met at the office Christmas party.

What sucks, according to “Naya,” is they use “us” as their cheap excuse to camouflage their fears or lust and to have reckless sex, and then blame it on too much Stolichnaya, Wine or San Miguel. Then they wake up the following morning claiming they did not know what came over them, that it was “Naya,” “Vino,” or “Miguel” that led them into temptation.

This of course is very tragic. In several instances, people blame the effects of “Naya,” “Vino and Miguel as the reason why they got into a collision or killed someone on the road, except for those with a Montero who opt to use the SUA defense. Sadly some of the future victims of HIV/AIDS next year will probably blame “Naya,” “Vino” and “Miguel” as responsible for their fatal impropriety.

I have a past life and so I know all about this behavior. But what I can’t figure out is how “Management,” business leaders and executive almost always allow unrestricted use of alcohol in the work place because it’s Christmas?  A few cocktails fine, but hosting literal “drink to death parties” is quite disturbing considering how we frown on alcohol abuse or alcohol dependency in the work place. Normally one who is identified or labeled as a boozer will find it hard to get a promotion or trust from higher ups. Would you rather kill someone or their career than be labeled a “Kill Joy”?

We frown on office dalliances or extra marital affairs in the workplace but how come the office suddenly becomes a free sex zone during the Christmas party? One would imagine that we can all have fun without having to pull our pants down, or bosses forgetting that the rules of conduct are still in effect. What is it in a Christmas party formula that makes games based on blatant sexual themes acceptable and “fun”? In a time when we are all dealing with understanding and stopping acts of sexual harassment in the work place, isn’t is absurd if not bizarre to playing games that are sexually suggestive?

Far from being moralistic, religious or spiritual, I am concerned as a result of the litany of repentance and confessions of shame brought to me by people who crossed the line during the office party or were egged on, or challenged to do something stupid while someone was pumping them with alcohol. Through the years, I have helped out many young new hires who fell into those cesspools and woke up the following day trashed, sexually used or humiliated not knowing what face or trace of respect they still had left to show at the office.

They thought that it was part of the “initiation,” a chance to become part of the team, or to show they were “game” and able, but no one in their company of “mature,” “professional leaders” stepped in to save them or stop them. With so much booze in their brain and everybody cheering them on or not batting an eyelash, it was easy to believe that getting drunk and sexually stupid was accepted or the norm.

Then when everybody goes back to work after the holidays, nerves are constantly stretched by the inconvenient memories of public French kisses, loss of self-control and the embarrassment from your utter stupidity. Sadly those who could, did not step in to stop it and now they use you for chuckles or picture you in their lewd thoughts. All it took was one party for them to label you as the company “slut” or corporate predator of vulnerable women. Be of good cheer my dear, at least you’re not sitting in jail for running over and killing someone while Driving Under the Influence.

Yes D.U.I but not by “Naya,” “Vino” or “Miguel” and please as much as I dislike him, don’t say “The devil made me do it.” Your company, your managers and your officemates and you, you all did it. Why? Because it’s Christmas? And if you have not done this yet in your company: DON’T!

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