I'm sorry
A good family orientation tells us when children are raised with good manners and right conduct. And when they go to school, educators strengthen the foundation by making sure that children still value what they have started at home. And so in school, children's value of the magic words is being reinforced, like: "Thank you," "You're welcome" and "I'm Sorry." Yes, we want them to say sorry when they have done wrong, when they have inconvenienced others and when others feel bad or disadvantaged. And they do it with utmost sincerity.
Unavoidably, these children will grow up, exposed to the environment where adults seem not to care the value of saying sorry. It's even so hard to utter these words because doing so they think would mean losing face or diminishing one's credibility. It is even unfortunate that it seems ingrained in our culture the sense of self-esteem that prevents a person from swallowing his pride.
Personally, there were situations in the past when even if I was in the height of blowing up, when I already heard those magic words, my anger subsided. And no amount of explanation even if the reason is still unclear, I am bound to listen, and in due course, forgive.
There is an expression that we use when we make a mistake: "I'm only human." We're saying that everybody makes mistakes, so what we did is okay. And it is okay, as long as we take personal responsibility for our wrongdoing. Saying "I'm sorry" and admitting that we did something wrong is the first step to self-improvement.
Rather than saying sorry as a ploy to shut the other person up; rather than saying sorry to avoid feeling shame at what we've done, let's say sorry, because we genuinely feel sorry.
But this is not the case of our president. President Aquino does not accept his ultimate responsibility and involvement so therefore saying sorry is not necessary. Remember August 23, 2010 when a hostage crisis happened at Rizal Park Manila killing eight Hong Kong tourists? President Aquino has maintained that there is no need to apologize over the incident even after Hong Kong imposed visa sanction. It was only when Manila Mayor Joseph Estrada met the Hong Kong officials and asked for apology. If not for his persistence and resolve, the negotiations between Hong Kong and the Philippines would have taken a different political dimension.
Even if the Mamasapano report would point to his lapse in coordinating with a suspended general, President Aquino would still continue to explain and the more he does this, it is only prolonging the agony of the bereaved families and escalating the people's displeasure.
The families of the victims are so much in pain. Their pains cannot be remedied with a lot of explanations. What they want supposedly from the very start is a humbling gesture of the president who accepts accountability, recognizes that lapses were committed along the way, hence the victims' heirs and their loved ones deserve a well-meaning sorry.
This is also true to authorities of the Philippine Air Lines (PAL) when, according to reports, a granddaughter of the Gaisanos suffered a second degree burn when given a cup of boiling water. Shocked by the heat, the little girl dropped the cup. Instead of apologizing, the airline crew insisted that what was given to the child was only "warm water." The handling of the customer complaint irked the parents who called it "tactless and arrogant" in their demand letter.
And in the process of reconciliation, the Gaisano family feels bad when it appears that PAL officials would want to meet them "at their own sweet time and convenience." Being the aggrieved party, it is just proper that they would be given due consideration because this manifests seriousness when one would find ways despite the many hindrances he may face, without excuses.
I believe this is a wakeup call as we can't imagine if this would happen again involving not so prominent individuals and families and perhaps they just don't dare to bring this matter to a broader attention.
Making a sincere apology eases the tension and allows us to be forgiving. Finding it hard to say sorry is now the result of a world where people assert superiority. After all, saying sorry does not make us lesser mortals.
- Latest
