Apologies

The “game” was billed as “the last home stand.” But after all was said and not done, the stands were empty of irate fans who had gone home muttering that the PLDT-sponsored event stood for “Puro Lang Drills at Training.” The basketball game featuring a group of NBA stars would not only serve as a final tune-up for our Gilas Pilipinas national team but was also supposed to be a charitable event to raise money for typhoon victims. But the point of this column is not to lay more blame or point additional fingers; rather it is to focus on actions that were taken after the damage had been done.  

PLDT Chairman Manuel Pangilinan called a late-night press conference and immediately took responsibility for the fiasco. He admitted that the marketing of the event was misleading. “There should be no mincing of words here.” [The event] “clearly created that expectation and perception [that fans would get to watch either a 5-on-5 scrimmage or a regular game].” He owned up to the mistake saying that “our job at PLDT is to be accountable for that deception” and thus promised to refund all the paying ticket holders.

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The Ateneo de Manila University was recently placed in an embarrassing predicament as well. Pictures showing the university president, administrators and students posing with a controversial guest incensed many of its alumni and other stakeholders.

But Ateneo president Fr. Jose Ramon T. Villarin, S.J. was quick to act. He immediately apologized for “the pain” that the photos may have caused. He also acknowledged that the photos had sent the wrong message to the public.

His statement read in part: “I apologize for any doubts that may have arisen on the mission of the school and the pain this event may have caused. As I hope for your understanding, I would like to assure you that we in the administration have learned our lesson to be more mindful of those we invite in our celebrations.”

“More importantly, I would like to reaffirm that we have not forgotten the darkness of those years of dictatorship and that we will not compromise on our principles in forming those who would lead this nation, striving at all times to be ‘constantly true,’” he added.

“Please know that in the education of our youth, the Ateneo de Manila will never forget the Martial Law years of oppression and injustice. We will not be catching up on nation building as we are today, had it not been for all that was destroyed during that terrible time,” he concluded.

The hoopla has since died down.

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Compare and contrast the two examples above with the “Hello Garci” apology.

Reading from a teleprompter, the former President, among others, said:

…”let me tell you how I personally feel. I recognize that making any such call was a lapse in judgment. I am sorry. I also regret taking so long to speak before you on this matter. I take full responsibility for my actions and to you and to all those good citizens who may have had their faith shaken by these events. I want to assure you that I have redoubled my efforts to serve the nation and earn your trust.”

In the vernacular “Nagagambala ako. Maliwanag na may kakulangan sa wastong pagpapasya ang nangyaring pagtawag sa telepono. Pinagsisisihan ko ito nang lubos. Pinananagutan ko nang lubusan ang aking ginawa, at humihingi ako ng tawad sa inyo, sa lahat ng mga butihing mamamayan na nabawasan ng tiwala dahil sa mga pangyayaring ito. Ibig kong tiyakin sa inyo na lalo pa akong magsisikap upang maglingkod sa bayan at matamo muli ang inyong tiwala.”

We all know what happened after.

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So what accounts for the difference in result? Why are some apologies more effective than others? According to the website www.perfectapology.com, a proper apology should always include the following: a) a detailed account of the situation, b) acknowledgement of the hurt or damage done, c) taking responsibility for the situation, d) recognition of your role in the event, e) asking for forgiveness, f) a promise that it won’t happen again and g) a form of restitution whenever possible.

But given the Philippine examples cited above, may I add two more essential characteristics: immediacy and sincerity. So after committing a mistake, saying a sincere sorry should be second reflex.

In other words, with apologies to Archibald Macleish’s “Ars Poetica,” apologizing “should not just mean, but be.”

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Lucky August?: I received a chain-mail which I wish to share with you.  

This incoming month, we will be witnessing a once-in-a-lifetime phenomenon. August, this year, will have 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays and 5 Sundays.  This happens only once every 823 years.  

The Chinese call this phenomenon ‘silver pockets full.’ So send this message to your friends and in four days your pockets will receive something. 

And based on Chinese Feng Shui, whoever does not forward this message MAY become poor.

I am obeying the instruction ..... (you never know).

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Au revoir: Within the next few weeks, three distinguished members of the diplomatic corps will be leaving the Philippines to return to their respective countries or take on new assignments. We do not bid good bye to Japanese Ambassador Toshinao Urabe, New Zealand Ambassador Reuben Levermore, and Israeli Ambassador Menashe Bar-On, we merely say au revoir or till we meet again.

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Greetings: Your four centavos cannot afford to pay for a paid advertisement but would like to provide a “widow’s mite” greeting to the Iglesia ni Cristo on its centennial birth anniversary and to the Philippine STAR which, like the PCGG, turns 28 on the 28th (the STAR was founded on July 28, 1986 while PCGG was created on February 28, 1986)

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“Never ruin an apology with an excuse.” – Benjamin Franklin

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