I thought that being a Sunday, I would not have very much to write about. Huh. But this is a different Sunday — it is also Mother’s Day — whatever that means. There was a time when I resented not being sent flowers by my children. The flowers were for their wives and daughters. Now, I feel relieved if I do not get flowers because I do not want or need flowers on Mother’s Day.
I should pass the lesson to other women, who like me, have other aspirations than being a commercialized image of what a mother should be.
Here is an article by New Yorker’s Elizabeth Weiss that aptly reflects what I feel this day.
She begins her article with a commercial she saw on TV when she was nine years old about being a mother. “As I waited for the oven timer to buzz, I brushed some flour across my cheek. I was imitating a commercial that I’d recently seen: a mother dawdles in the kitchen, reading a romance novel, while, from the next room, her kid asks if the Rice Krispies treats are ready yet. “I’m still working on it,†she lies. She finally puts down her book, tosses flour onto her face, splashes some water from the fish bowl into her eyes, and carries the treats to her family. “They taste so good, your family will think you slaved over them all afternoon,†a voice intones. She calls it her baptism by flour. It was about a child’s naïve assumption that women earned their keep in the kitchen.
And here comes the shebang: the misunderstanding is not just about women in kitchens but about women in general – the germ of truth in this was — “we expect mothers to suffer.â€
She cites an ad, titled “World’s Toughest Job,†as footage of interviews with applicants for a job called Director of Operations. The requirements were unlimited hours of work, no sitting, no breaks, possession of degrees in “medicine, finance, and the culinary arts,†no pay. Then, the big reveal: billions of people already have this crazy job — moms.
“The video has been viewed nearly 18 million times on YouTube; many see it as a heartwarming reminder of all the hard work that mothers do. Others aren’t so impressed. “I don’t appreciate messages that seem to build women up while essentially telling them that nothing they can achieve in life matters more than having babies,†Mary Elizabeth Williams wrote at Salon.
I agree with Weiss that the depiction of motherhood in this video is not merely annoying, it is wrong. It is about a cultural flaw that needs to be corrected. It is not about “giving her flowers†on Mother’s Day and saying “she has done a good job.â€
“It offers cultural cover for attitudes that do real damage to women, men, and families, reinforcing baseless perceptions of women as less reliable in the workplace, low expectations for fathers at home. For some parents, especially low-wage workers, taking time off to care for a sick kid or attend a parent-teacher conference means risking their jobs.
If we were serious about honoring mothers, viral videos casting their lives as impossibly difficult wouldn’t warm our hearts; they would impel us to action.†Count me in.
Having said all these, I was invited by my children to dinner tonight and I will be happy to come.
MISCELLANY: Here is an article written by Joyce Karam on Amal’s mother, Baria in Al-Arabiya News. “While many might have been surprised with the engagement news of Hollywood’s renowned bachelor George Clooney to the Lebanese-British shrewd and elegant barrister Amal Alamuddin, the same cannot be said about Clooney’s future mother-in-law Baria Alamuddin.
Confident, warm, and very well connected, that’s how those who know Baria Miknas well, describe her. Her journey was no walk in the park, growing up in Tripoli, before moving to Beirut to pursue her journalism career with Dar Sayyad in the sixties then with the Lebanese national TV. She later married Ramzi Alamuddin, and the couple escaped war-ravaged Lebanon to London, where Baria joined Al-Hayat newspaper and raised her two daughters Amal and Tala.
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I had a query in FB on the article I wrote on Cardinal Vidal. He worked so quietly some Cebuanos did not even know what he did to make Edsa happen. An FB friend asked how could we get in touch with him: Do you think he will agree to lead us again?
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For those who think that we cannot go on with this kind of governance (and citizenship, I must add) to push our country forward and achieve our potential as a people there are local transformation councils being formed ie you can form your own group whatever your profession is. You don’t have to be a politician. Individual citizens can form their transformation councils. Who knows? These can be put together in a wider National Transformation Council for a new governance.
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Not everybody is pleased that an international lawyer should take up the cause of former President Arroyo.
Gabriela party list lawmaker Luz Ilagan is said to have “cautioned the fiancee of Hollywood star Clooney against taking action to help former Arroyo.â€
She said Alamuddin should respect the Philippines’ justice system. “National laws should prevail here. After all, GMA’s (Arroyo’s initials) crimes are national in nature,†she said.
“While we respect the lawyer’s interest in GMA’s case, she should also respect our own justice system. Otherwise, her actions might be construed as interventionist,†Ilagan added.
According to Pedrosa, the Lebanese-born Alamuddin visited Manila, following a speaking engagement in Singapore, and was apprised of Arroyo’s condition.
Alamuddin’s mother, Al-Hayat foreign editor Baria Alamuddin, is Pedrosa’s long-time friend. They met in London while she was in exile during the Marcos dictatorship.
According to newspaper columnist Pedrosa, Alamuddin wants to advise Arroyo on her rights under international law over her continued detention despite her deteriorating health.
The debate goes on between national and international law when it comes to human rights. I have answered Gabriela’s concern partly in yesterday’s column by citing the provisions of the 1993 Vienna Declaration and Programme Action which says says that “All human rights are universal, indivisible and interdependent and interrelated. The international community must treat human rights globally in a fair and equal manner, on the same footing, and with the same emphasis. While the significance of national and regional particularities and various historical, cultural and religious backgrounds must be borne in mind, it is the duty of States, regardless of their political, economic and cultural systems, to promote and protect all human rights and fundamental freedoms.â€
That is Article 5 of the declaration. And the Philippines agreed by signing that declaration.