Repent and reform

Let us single out two statements of John the Baptist in today’s Gospel reading:

“Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand! . . .  Produce good fruit as evidence of your repentance.” (Mt.3:2,8).  This is addressed to all of us as we approach this Christmas of 2013.  First and foremost, it is addressed especially to our civil leaders and citizens who are guilty of moral corruption, in some form or another.  This may be the pork barrel scam, or some other form of immoral conduct.  Secondly, it is addressed to each one of us.

According to scientific research, as we have mentioned previously, the greatest enemy of the human person is his/her own ego.  We who belong to this postmodern age are freedom-seekers.  Many of us are turned off by traditions, rituals, and authoritarian rulers, both at home and in the community.  But as one author puts it, this leads us to a freedom of the ego that results in egotistical self-centeredness.  Thus, what we seriously need is freedom from the ego and attachment to God and the common good.  (cf. A. Nolan, Jesus Today).  A spirituality of radical freedom from the ego.

A middle-aged parish priest was being appointed to a bigger parish in a city, so the parishioners, who loved him dearly, gave him a despedida party and a plaque of appreciation for all that he had given and done for them.  For all the years that he was with them, he dedicated himself fully to their needs, and really brought them closer to the Lord.  Moreover, his heart was profoundly drawn to the poor, the jobless, and the uneducated.  He succeeded in activating the rich and middle-class families to reach out to those who needed their time, talents, and treasures.  After some years, a more equitable distribution of God’s resources was indeed becoming a reality in that parish rather than just a Christian teaching.  It was an advanced testimony of what our newly-elected Pope Francis has been focusing on in his addresses to the whole Church these past days.

Going back to that parish priest, it is significant to note that when he was a young priest in another parish, he became a close friend of a pretty, young lady who was serving in that parish.  To make the long story short, the two of them came to a point when they started to kiss and embrace each other in a seriously romantic way.  That really jolted him in his heart, and he went through an individual, guided eight-day retreat, ending with a process of spiritual discernment.  He ended the retreat with a decision that he could live with, die for, and face God with.  From deep repentance, he has become a passionate, celibate lover to his parishioners.  Such is the spirituality of radical freedom from the ego.

What about in married life?  The challenge is equally great and difficult.  This particular couple who have been married for no less than twenty years, with three children, were at the point of breaking up and calling it quits.  They would often quarrel about anything and everything.  Their personalities were psycho-emotionally different, and they experienced themselves as incompatible.  Although they claimed that they were genuinely in love with each other when they got married, that love has either died or buried underneath a heap of garbage.

Following the advice of their friends, and for the sake of their children, whom they both cared for, they went for professional counseling.  First, the counselor had an individual session with each one of them.  It was evident that both of them were hurting, and each one was focusing on the spouse as the cause of the problem.  Here again, a lack of real self-awareness led each spouse to be inordinately attached to his/her ego.  The real problem came from each one’s ego.  Thus, it takes two to tango.  It takes both the husband and the wife to create the problem, it takes both of them to maintain the problem, and it would take both of them to solve it.  Each spouse has a contribution to the problem, which one’s ego is holding on to.  The wife would come across as strong and domineering, and the husband would just back off and ignore her.  They continually complemented each other in a negative way, over and over again.

The counselor, through the skills of empathetic listening and reflecting, was able to enter the world of each spouse, and succeeded in helping both the husband and the wife to feel mutual empathy in their hearts, and not just in their minds.  Furthermore, the counselor was able to help them both become aware that each one’s ego was the ultimate culprit in ruining their love-relationship.  A radical freedom from each one’s ego, and an inner awareness of God’s loving presence in each one of them was the climax in the last stage of the counseling process, which ended with the couple experiencing the authentic and lasting love-triangle:  husband, wife, and God.

Through the following sessions with the counselor as a couple, the husband learned to reach out to the psycho-emotional needs of the wife to make her happy, even if those were not his needs; and the wife was able to really reach out to the psycho-emotional needs of the husband, even if they were not her needs, to make him happy.  Their individual and mutual relationship with God liberated them from their egos and egoism, and their love for each other came alive once again.  They made time just for each other on a regular basis, either dialoguing or doing something together.  Thus, they became close friends and passionate lovers.

It took many months for all this to come about, with the guidance of the counselor.  But it was well worth it, for both the couple and the counselor.  And most all, for God.