Game over or game changer?

If you push the button — it’s “Game Over.” If you pull the trigger — it’s “The End.”

As tragic as it is, the death by suicide of UP Manila student Kristel Tejada should teach us that by committing suicide, you end your participation, you stop playing, and you don’t get to fight the battle or solve the problem or beat the opponent that pushed you to the edge. It’s not Time Out — it’s Goodbye.

Unfortunately, even when Kristel chose “GAME OVER,” things really didn’t stop. They actually got worse because now so many politicians have maximized their paid interviews by commiserating with a complete stranger they never heard of until late last week. Now they have exploited her tragic death to benefit their political ambition and their propaganda of being pro poor and for the youth. Now several activists and civil society creatures are coming out of the woodwork to espouse their agendas allegedly for Kristel’s sake.

But the worst thing of it all is that some irrational faultfinders are trying to lay the blame for Kristel’s death on UP Manila officials! Whatever the circumstance, suicide is a personal choice. We should not mix it up with governance, public policy and the failure of the bureaucracy. 

Right along now, some of you might want to label me rude, or better yet call me “insensitive” while playing the song with the same title. Sorry but it won’t change my perspective of things because I want people to understand that suicide is not an option. If you want the best for yourself and for others, if you want to solve the problem you have to stick around, stay in the fight and go from victory to victory.

First up and for the record, I originally went to UP Manila for college and I once considered choosing “Game Over.” Yes, like Kristel I found myself alone, despondent and considering taking my exit from the end of a 38 snub nose revolver. But by God’s grace I had a Bible on the other hand and all I remember praying repeatedly were the words: “Dear God let the sun come out, let the sun come out.”

Yes I’ve been there, I had a choice but I did not press Game Over. Once you do that, you’ve made the decision, and regardless of circumstances, your death is your choice and should not be blamed on others.

Yes, we should all be upset, but what are we upset about? That a young student committed suicide because her family could not raise P10,000? Or because it caught all of us off-guard, ignorant and uninformed that someone was so despondent over such a little sum that many of us could have easily given or loaned till kingdom come?

Are we upset that a couple of government employees albeit possessing the title chancellor and vice chancellor and other UP employees actually did their job without fear or favor, unaware that by obeying the laws of the University and the Philippines, they would find themselves blamed for someone’s decision to end her life?

Are we upset because we know that if the UP officials had accommodated or gave extra consideration to Kristel’s case, that they would be opening the floodgates and the very same people who want to crucify the UP officials now, will most likely want to crucify them for not doing their job or for “graft and corruption”!

Are we upset that a student committed suicide not realizing that the UP President issued a directive that no student should be denied enrollment or undergo forced leave due to financial incapacity the day before? Or are we upset because the same order proves that the UP system was at work and was actually doing something about the problem, thereby making many of us wrong and presumptuous know-it-alls?

Perhaps we are upset about the fact that after all the millions of UP graduates, the most generous and kind hearted Filipinos and Iskolars Ng Bayan have collectively overlooked and FAILED to set-up a system and a fund that would have helped Kristel and many others like her?

Are we upset because deep down inside especially for UP graduates (as well as “others”), each of us has not kept our promises to “Pay it forward,” “to give back” or “to share the blessing” and now Kristel’s death is like a specter that haunts us and reminds us that our “good intentions” remain as “outstanding accounts” and un-kept promises? Are you upset because you know that all you’ve done is talk, shout or scream about it and nothing more?

When I wrote an article similar to this, a reader challenged me by asking what I was doing about the problem? Back then I chose not to react or reply, because it might be misconstrued as bragging. But the other day I happen to read in the book of Matthew Chapter 5 verse 16: “In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in Heaven.” So today, I choose to write about what my wife and I, and our “Ninong” have been doing for the last 5 years, hoping it would encourage “YOU” to do likewise. Maybe if more of us did something more tangible, we might actually save the “Kristels” around us.

Every year we support an average of four to five students either in grade school and college, all of them in private school, which we feel will give them a bigger advantage at becoming successful and paying it forward. None of them know, not even the parents who are either single Moms or unemployed, that we are involved. All they know is that God sent someone to help them.

We have no foundation, no committees, just God “leading” us to help others. The school coordinators know that it’s an “as long as there is money” arrangement and the parents keep their dignity by being required to pay 10% of the total.

It began out of compassion, became a sacrifice, and after 2 valedictorians in five years, it has become our privilege. Even better, God has the best accounting firm in eternity and he blesses us with regular work and encouragement. There are many Kristels out there, but it doesn’t have to be Game Over for them because YOU can be the Game Changer!

Please find and read these verses in the Bible: 2nd Corinthians chapter 9 verses 10 to 15. God bless you.

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