Three-in-one

Today’s Parable of the Prodigal Son (Lk. 15: 1-3, 11-32) embraces the totality of our human lives. There are times when some of us are like the prodigal son who allows himself to be blinded by his ego, falls into dark, dark human sinfulness, but in due time wakes up and goes through a process of conversion. With a contrite heart, he goes back home to his father, uttering these words: “Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you; I no longer deserve to be called your son” (Lk. 15:21).

Some others are more like the older son, who is self-righteous in following the letter of the law, but not the spirit of the law. He confronts his father thus: “Look, all these years I served you and not once did I disobey your orders; yet you never gave me even a young goat to feast on with my friends. But when your son returns who swallowed up your property with prostitutes, for him you slaughter the fattened calf” (vv. 29-30).

But over and above all of these, there are those like the father, who is able to forgive and love unconditionally. Addressing the older son, the father is quoted as saying: “My son, you are here with me always; everything I have is yours. But now we must celebrate and rejoice, because your brother was dead and has come to life again; he was lost and has been found” (vv. 31-32).

Each person created by God as human is capable of being all three-in-one. The younger son, the older son, and the father, all in one! Incredible but true. Three successive stages in the life of the same person: the sinfulness of the younger son; the self-righteousness of the older son, and the ever-forgiving love of the father.

To stay predominantly and habitually in the third stage is the call and mission for each one of us. Our growth in spirituality is to be like the father of the prodigal son. How, then, do we outgrow the older son and the younger son, and become the father of them both?

There was this man in his mid-forties, with only one child, a 16-year-old daughter who was pretty, intelligent, and kind. But early on in the marriage, he and his wife were having problems with their marital relationship. She was an extrovert, and had a strong personality. She came across as domineering, while on the other hand, he was more of an introvert, and came across as one who was on the sidelines. In their homelife, he failed to assume the responsibility of being the head of the family, and he suffered from low self-esteem. His subconscious self was pushing to be more macho to increase his self-worth. Well, he ended up womanizing. To say the least, this brought more problems between him and his wife. She found out about it, and was on the verge of separating from him. But deep down, both of them still wanted to give their marriage a last chance.

A friend brought them to a professional marriage counselor. Aside from this, they also accepted the invitation to attend a Marriage Encounter Weekend. Both the counseling and the weekend helped them a lot. But there was one effect on him that was not so healthy. He started to become super-strict in following the letter of the law, more than the spirit of the law. For instance, in going to Mass on Sundays and holydays of obligation, in the strict observance of fasting and abstinence during Lent, and others.

One particular Sunday, his daughter asked to be excused from attending Mass with them (the church was very far from their home) because of her final exams the following day, for which she had too much material to review.

“That’s a mortal sin. You will go to hell if you die without Confession!” the father exclaimed. The mother asked him quietly to let her follow her conscience. He did with a heavy heart.

But there were other issues about the social life of their daughter that disturbed him, like coming home late from a party. He gave her strict rules to follow, but at times she failed to obey. The more strict he became, the more reactive she became. Until a major tragedy happened.

Her boyfriend kept asking her that they go to bed together. She resisted several times, until she finally consented, and she got pregnant! She painfully confessed all this to her mother, who was so angry and compassionate at the same time. The two of them agreed for her, the daughter, to temporarily transfer to her aunt’s home, while she, the mother, would find an appropriate time to reveal it to her husband.

In the meantime, her husband, together with his other companions from a religious association, were having a week-long spiritual retreat in Tagaytay. A couple of days after he came back from the retreat, his wife explained the reason why their daughter was away, and was afraid to see him face-to-face. He quieted down in prayerful silence, and accepted the tragedy as a cross, which is an opportunity to love even more.

The daughter texted him: “Papa, please forgive me. I love you very much.” And the father texted back: “Please come home. I love you very much, too.”

The father was waiting at the doorway when his daughter came home, and they embraced each other, both shedding tears for a long time. Indeed, the cross is given by God as an opportunity to love even more. Amen.