I was put on this planet for a number of reasons—to live, love, and to rule the world! *evil laugh*
I get sidetracked by the living and loving from time to time but I’m dead focused on my life’s mission. If you check my credentials, you’ll find that I have everything laid out, most of the constants in place, and everything in motion for that important day when I successfully rally the Filipino nation into global dominance. *evil laugh once again*
The Fates have also carefully planted all the necessary events and people (whether related to me or not), positioning them for this take-over of galactic proportions; with everything happening in our country and our world—from impeachment proceedings to television shows—becoming crucial elements, significant ingredients into fulfilling my life’s destiny. However, my delusions of grandeur notwithstanding, I feel pained that this route to world domination has suffered some minor setbacks the past weeks. Perhaps it has to do with some planetary re-alignments, these celestial movements almost always having an impact on our lives. But I will not be deterred.
For purposes of discussion, here are some of the said setbacks:
Most recent of which is Jessica Sanchez’s defeat (so close, oh so close). Although it could be seen that this loss is what some claim it to be: Tommy Motola intervening, making sure the girl he wants to bequeath a plum recording contract to doesn’t get entangled in a slightly more complicated setup should she have won the top Idol spot. Plausible? I believe so (Besides, like I said yesterday on Facebook, we can sum up yesterday’s finale as: Phillip Phillips (AMERICAN), Jessica Sanchez (IDOL).
In such case, when Jessica becomes the big star she’s poised to be, it will be beneficial to my goals in the long run. I take comfort in the fact that, despite our disappointment, we’ve actually secured a more long-term arrangement over the temporary euphoria of a cursed Idol win (I say cursed because rarely do these Idol winners make it to be big stars), that is, Jessica Sanchez having a recording contract from the world’s top producer, singing songs whilst subliminally hypnotizing the world to the Filipino agenda. *evil laugh once more*
Thank God for Jessica. Charice was my Plan A and Manny Pacquaio, my Plan B. But Charice has since morphed into an entirely different character, so distant from the sweet little girl with power vocals that burst into the international scene via The Oprah Winfrey Show and the Ellen Show. I say I blame our countrymen partly, as we never fully appreciated the little girl, persistently making fun of her round face. Trust me, we shot ourselves on the foot back there. We helped ruin that poor little girl’s self image.
And Manny Pacquiao? Well, another fellow Filipino helped smear his public image. That bigoted blogger who irresponsibly inserted his limited views on his news article covering an interview with the Pacman ought to be ashamed of himself. Again with the shooting on the foot! That Nike deal was crucial to our mainstream presence. I’m trying to keep my composure as these agents of mine falter in the face of fulfilling their specific tasks in my mission to control the planet.
Also last Tuesday, Chief Justice Corona, who received careful instructions from me deviated from the plan and went rogue. My blood pressure is shooting up just thinking about it; that b*stard should have just stuck to the plan and not walked out.
(To be continued next Saturday…)
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Tonight on The Bottomline with Boy Abunda: New York-based United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA) Executive Director Dr. Babatunde Osotimehin takes the hot seat and attempts to elucidate viewers on his global agency’s mandate.
The UNFPA is ‘an international development agency that promotes the right of every woman, man and child to enjoy a life of health and equal opportunity. UNFPA supports countries in using population data for policies and programmes to reduce poverty and to ensure that every pregnancy is wanted, every birth is safe, every young person is free of HIV/AIDS, and every girl and woman is treated with dignity and respect.’
‘UNFPA partners with governments, other agencies and civil society to advance UNFPA’s mission. Two frameworks guide its efforts: the Programme of Action adopted at the 1994 International Conference on Population and Development and the Millennium Development Goals, eight targets to reduce extreme poverty by 2015. Since the date for achieving these goals and targets is fast approaching, work is being accelerated to analyze successes, to galvanize support and to redouble efforts.’
Watch The Bottomline later after Banana Split on ABS-CBN. Encore cable telecast tomorrow, Sunday, 1 pm, on the ABS-CBN News Channel (ANC).
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