Fallen from Grace?

The first thing that entered my mind when I first read the now-persistent rumor that Noynoy Aquino and Grace Lee are no more was a small red 5x8 poster taped to the front of my desk early in my career as a journalist with this paper.

The poster read: “Kiss a non-smoker and taste the clean difference.” I was then embarked on the first of my many unsuccessful attempts to quit smoking. It was not until many years later that I finally managed to kick the habit. But that is another story.

The reason I recalled the poster and its message was because a naughty thought occurred to me about the rumored “split” between Noynoy and Grace, and that is that it is perfectly possible for bad breath to have caused the collapse of the presidential romance.

Look, I have been there. I used to smoke anywhere between one pack to two packs a day. And I can tell you, now that I have left that part of my life far behind me, that the breath of a smoker puts to shame the fart of a horse.

That is an exaggeration, of course. But after eight years of not having smoked a stick, I now find myself unable to tolerate the smell of smoke, much less the breath of smokers. And it is to the credit of my loving wife to have put up with that ordeal through much of our early years.

Noynoy may be the president but he is still a smoker. And that can only mean one thing to those who, whether by chance or by design, may find themselves in close proximity to him. And not even the most polite of all silences can eliminate the fact that the breath of a smoker stinks.

Now Grace may have found it a pleasant novelty to be the president’s girl. But novelty alone can quickly wear off. And without the necessary foundation, the end can come even quicker, especially if challenged by the prospect of a lifetime of agonizing smell.

Everything I have said so far, however, is based only on the naughty notion that smoking had anything to do at all with the rumored split between Noynoy and Grace. For all I know, the cause may have been entirely different. Or they may not even have split for that matter.

But the reports say Noynoy himself intimated during a trip to Negros Occidental that he has had two previous flings with Ilonggas and that he hopes he will be luckier this time around, suggesting he has a new and third fling. As Grace is South Korean, then she must no longer be it.

As the rumored split from Grace becomes more plausible, I also find myself moving on from being naughty to being suspicious as I find this seeming inability of Noynoy to keep a girl for long rather amiss.

I just do not think it normal for a guy to lose a girl in such quick rotation. Playboys, if that is the idea we are trying to nail, string them all up at the same time, often on the sly. There is no great deal about parading belles in public.

 But this going to great lengths to hype and show off one affair after another is taking its toll on my credulity. It is getting much too contrived for me, as if there is a deliberate attempt to paint a situation that is not really there.

Add to this the other hype about Noynoy’s other passions — guns and fast cars — and I think the public is being conditioned into believing what, otherwise, is naturally believable without the help of any hype or conditioning.