Cherished event

Time flies fast indeed. And this is especially true with respect to some events in our life that remains deeply etched in our hearts because they involve our dearly beloved ones. Tomorrow, our family will be commemorating one such event which happened nine years ago. This is the death anniversary of our beloved and only daughter Joyce. As a father, I seize every opportunity to write about her and dedicate it to all the fathers and daughters who are still together in this world. The urge to do so keeps coming back because I want to show that while my bonding with my sons is usually more intimate and closer, as in all other fathers’ bonding with their sons, my bonding with my daughter was as intimate and close as it should be because all our children are God’s precious gifts to us.

On March 10, 2003, at about 15 minutes before two o’clock in the afternoon, Joyce our oldest daughter and the loving and caring sister of five brothers, after hanging on to life — but not afraid of death — finally ended her short but meaningful and fruitful earthly life and began another life of eternal bliss as she moved into the beatific House of our Lord in heaven.

In her short life span of almost 39 years, our family enjoyed her company only during the first 18 years because she decided to devote the rest of the 21 years in the service of the Lord. But the strong father-daughter bond formed during the period she spent with us made it most difficult for me to let her go. All fathers perhaps who have an only daughter would feel the same. They would naturally resist letting go of “daddy’s girl” whom they used to carry in their arms so lovingly and protectively, forgetting or even ignoring how great and glorious it is to be blessed with such daughters who chose to devote their entire life in the service of God.

After she joined Opus Dei (the “Work”), events spent together with her became so precious few and far between. But they were enough to fill my storage of happy memories with her. The most memorable yet was in 1993 when Joyce, Josie my wife and I went on a spiritual journey to Rome for the beatification of St. Josemaria. That was indeed one of the most spiritually edifying experiences in our life. This event and many other memorable events with her not only strengthened our bond but also made us realize how happy she was in her work. We felt her joy and from then on we became closer though far apart.

Every time we visited her in any Opus Dei center we saw and felt love all around through her and her sisters in the Work with their ever smiling faces. On special occasions when we joined her in the centers of her assignment, that father-daughter bond simply grew stronger. Even when she was in Rome and other far away centers she never failed to get in touch with us. We felt her presence and support wherever she was, through her prayers thus prompting Josie to describe her as our “one woman prayer department.”

News of her cancerous ailment was therefore so heartbreaking and devastating. But her illness, which she called God’s “divine caress”, became the source of so many more awakenings in me about a daughter’s love for her father, requited belatedly and inadequately. To make up for lost time, I tried my best to visit her nearly every day, especially when she was transferred to the “Pandan” and “Punlaan” centers in Manila. Those almost daily moments with her enabled me to understand the meaning of Christian love more deeply and taught me lessons on Sufferings in life by “rejoicing in hope, being patient in tribulation and persevering in prayer.” She made me realize that the greatest suffering of sick people is to see their loved ones suffer because of their own suffering. Thus without any words uttered, I got her message to please change your “tears for Joyce to tears of joy.”

 And tears of joy indeed profusely flowed when five months before her death as I lay in a hospital bed for a heart by-pass operation she stayed with me and Josie and helped in taking care of me, even in her wheel chair, a sight that would have melted the hardest of heart of any father. My joy in the midst of so much suffering became complete when one of her associates in the Work, told me that the most important lesson she learned from seeing me and Joyce together was “to love her father like Joyce loved hers.” 

Another close associate of hers also told us that even in her illness Joyce saw life as a great adventure, accepting every moment as God’s precious gift which should never be wasted. During my visits, I could sense that she wanted so much to be with Mother Mary and her beloved Son already, but I saw her clinging to life to give more of her before finally leaving this world. She never wanted to be a burden to anybody even in her helplessness, always saying “thank you” to those who took care of her. She showed that sufferings could be accepted with serenity and joy by forgetting herself and thinking of her visitors. Her prayers for others must have been truly powerful as we hear so many accounts of how they asked Joyce to pray for their intentions, and they were granted.

And so tomorrow, we again celebrate the birthday in heaven of a good and loving daughter who we believe is already enjoying the company of Angels and Saints. We remember her not with tears of sadness but with tears of joy for we are truly celebrating love that is pure and fair.

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