Parental discipline with a .45 caliber

If you like surfing the Internet chances are you’ve heard about 9-shot Tommy Jordan, an American father who decided to apply the Old Testament law of “An eye for an eye” or doing unto others what others do unto you.

From being a little known IT technician from North Carolina, Tommy Jordan suddenly became a “global personality” on the Internet due to his unorthodox approach or style of parental discipline.

It seems that Jordan’s 15- year old daughter named Hannah has a history of fully expressing her sentiments on Facebook and sharing her feelings with all her “Facebook Friends”. Hannah had already gotten into trouble for doing such a thing, which got her grounded.

That unfortunately proved to be ineffective. Hannah decided to restrict or block her parents from being able to access her “page” and after some time felt it was safe to once again express her sentiments on Facebook.

This time however, Hannah posted a one-page rant against her parents where she rebelled at the idea of having to perform a string of household chores, pointing out that they had a cleaning lady named Linda and not Hannah, and that instead of being told to look for a part-time job, she, Hannah should simply be paid for the work she does around the house. What made the rant or rage really bad was the profanity and disrespect that Hannah used numerous times in her post.

Lesson: don’t block your parents or someone who is an IT Technician and then attack them on the Internet and give them your Lap Top so they can upgrade the unit.That is just so dumb or divinely planned.

Dad Tommy apparently discovered the letter of rage and subsequently expressed his own rage on You-tube. Using his video camera Tommy Jordan put together an epic 8 minute presentation and answered back on the points that his daughter posted.

Most of it was “typical” parental response about how profanity and disrespect will not be tolerated, how the normal house chores is part of life at home and how the older generation worked for what they wanted while the kids simply get what they want because their parents work hard.

But what made Jordan’s rebuttal unique other than the fact that he posted it on Facebook was the fact that he got his daughter’s Lap Top which he had just upgraded with $120 worth of software, placed it nicely on the ground pointed the camera on the Lap Top, took out his .45 caliber pistol and proceeded to shoot the Lap Top with 9 shots of hollow point bullets.

That entire episode went viral worldwide and caught the attention of almost every major station particularly in the United States. Most interesting of all was the fact that in one important media survey, 73 percent approved or “liked” what the father did. While many people chose to focus on the father’s response or the daughter’s spoiled behavior or disrespect, it made me wonder about the way Filipinos do things and give things.

For instance, our “Baon” system or giving an allowance to kids. Many parents often say that giving kids an allowance will help them develop “Money management skills”. But when I talk to some of the young people I know, I learn that some of them are receiving a daily allowance almost equal to daily wages. In fact, among the “richer kids” they even have annual bargaining for increases.

Are you giving an allowance, a salary or are you paying off your kids for your lack of parenting? That’s a question not an accusation. My daughter always has some money in her pocket but we don’t regularly give her “Pocket money”. She has money just in case, but she does not habitually go to buy something at school just because she has the money to buy with.

If you say you’re helping your kids develop money management skills, are you actually teaching them about making a budget, balancing their cash versus their expenditures and talking to them about what they buy, why they buy and how they should buy? Do they end up with a surplus to save, or are you just resupplying the demand?

The other concern I have has to do with the issue of what kids need versus what kids get. It’s funny how each generation tells the younger ones about how difficult and how different things were in their time. How we had to work for what we had and how we didn’t have the luxuries and accessories that the younger ones have. That’s all very true because each generation will have a different economic reality, therefore a different value system and a different level of technology.

The problem is we let media and society pressure as into giving things we are not comfortable with and then ultimately lay the blame on our kids when cash gets hard to come by or throw it at their faces when they misbehave.

Our Grandparents mostly saw Phonographs and Reel tape player. My Dad only got as far as CD players and Betamax. I have seen an operating gramophone, phonograph, reel tape, cartridge 8-track, cassette player, Walkman, CD player, MD player, IPod and now IPhone playing iTunes.

I think we all need to be reminded of what is a necessary tool for kids and what are useful gifts. Laptops are necessary, Ipads are luxury. Cellphones are necessary, IPhone 4-S is a luxury. Clothes are a necessity; name brands and high fashion labels are a luxury. In other words we are the gatekeepers, the guardians and mentors who need to teach children what is real and not the fashionista-techie magazines.

Finally, if you’re in a situation like Tommy Jordan wouldn’t you feel stupid right around now realizing you’ve destroyed several hundred dollars worth of computer, flushed your dirty laundry to several million people and counting, displayed your gun-totting, cigarette smoking bad habits as well as your divorce, just to show a 15-year old that you are also a brat capable of the same level of childishness!

Next time, remember this verse: “there is wisdom in the counsel of many” but not in posting on You-tube.

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