DOH has found a cracker that's safe

The Department of Health is doing and trying everything to reduce New Year’s Eve injuries. It’s trying , or it tried, to let everyone DOH away with paputok.

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 It tried to make revelers accept the torotot but failed. Before that, it tried to sell pots and pans. Still no one bought.

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 Last New Year’s Eve, the DOH, unfazed by its failure to make the revelers accept the torotot and pots and pans, tried the compact disc or CD. Queer? Not really.

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 The CD was intended to replace the actual bang-bang of the firecrackers with just the firecracker blasts on CD. Sounds wise but there’s a drawback. And this drawback is, the revelers would only get the sound but would have their fingers intact. Hehehe!

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 The Social Weather Stations (SWS) says 95 percent of Pinoys enter 2012 with hope. That means the rest of us Pinoys are hopeless?

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 E-mail from Jake Pasecto II: “I want to comment on an item in one of your recent columns concerning Hippopotamus and how it does sex. I have not read the book you mentioned but I have read an article about love-making by the hippo … Because their sex organ is only an inch long and they are too big, the hippos do sex by licking the urine of the girl hippos. Funny? It is but, well, it’s their life, let’s leave them and the sex habit alone.”

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 I would like to thank Sir Jake for his comment. I have not yet read the book given to me. I hope to find some more interesting sex habits by the hippo.

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 A junior business executive is planning to order some tarpaulin streamers printed with the message: “Let us pray to God that we (Cebu) be spared from calamities like typhoons and floods.” No politician is involved in his project.

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He said: “Aprobahan kaha ni sa mayor? Walay political motives. Usa lang ang motive ko … Pag-ampo nga mahilayo ta sa katalagman nga miigo sa Cagayan de Oro ug Iligan.” He added; “Suwayan ko lang tuo man kaha na atong mayor sa gahum sa Ginoo.”