Arling, her cup runneth over

Carolina “Arling” Lapus Gozon passed away Tuesday, Dec. 19, 2011, at the age of 97. She was buried five days later.

I am very fortunate to have been chosen by her family to write her biography, entitled ARLING, her cup runneth over. Although Tia Arling’s youngest child, Flor, had been my friend, Bible study classmate and business partner for a long time, it was in the course of picking up bits and pieces for the book that I came to know more about her mother’s life story intimately and became more convinced that she was a truly exceptional woman.

Arling was the youngest daughter of Ismael “Maeng” Oreta Lapus and Magdalena “Dalena” Bagtas Santos, prosperous traders who through hard work, acquired fishponds and rice lands, and, more importantly, lived lives of obedience to the Lord. She was one of 11 children. She dreamed of becoming a nurse, but ended up taking pharmacy at the University of the Philippines.

When she was a young girl, Arling developed skin rashes suspected to be leprous but which turned out to be “anan” (tinea versicolor). The experience made her very prayerful, so that before making a decision, she would pray for divine guidance. Her granddaughter Carmen Jimenez Ong (daughter of Arling’s daughter Kay Jimenez) wrote playfully of her lola’s prayerful life thus: “She would pray before entering a car, before stepping into an elevator, and before taking a bite of her food.”

Arling prayed hard if the personable young man courting her that she fancied was God’s intended life partner for her – Benjamin “Amen” Mendoza Gozon, a law student also at the UP. The answer was yes. Arling would later tell her daughter Flor that she fell in love with Amen “even if she knew he was not rich (but) because he was intelligent.” Flor said her nanay advised her two daughters (Flor and older sister Kay) “not to marry for money. Money can get lost and money can be earned.” Amen became director of the Bureau of Mines, then Secretary of Agriculture and Natural Resources, and because of the insistence of Liberal Party Chief Jovito Salonga, who had a high respect for Amen as a credible and honest government official, ran for governor of Rizal province, but which he unfortunately did not win.

Arling and Amen bore four children - Benjamin Jr., a chemical engineer by training who now runs the family corporations; Kay, entrepreneur whose husband Menardo Jimenez is a very successful businessman; Felipe “Henry,” president of the powerful GMA 7 network, and Flor, former vice-president of Citibank Philippines and currently Philippine National Bank chairperson. In all her husband’s endeavors, Arling was constantly on his side, ever supportive, ever encouraging. She was the epitome of the Biblical woman who is like a sparkling gem.

I wrote in Tia Arling’s book “ . . . like the people who have come to know her, I am endlessly enthralled by her spirituality, her immense love for her family, her entrepreneurial gifs, her taking on what seems impossible for a woman to do.” I discovered that Arling was no ordinary woman. To augment her husband’s income (Amen was too honest a government official he did not stash money to have his family live comfortably.) Although she came from affluent parents, she did not ask them for financial help, but practiced frugality, spending only what her husband earned, and if she had savings she put them in the bank and stuck to her old budget. She scrimped and saved, and sewed her children’s torn pants, but made sure they had nutritious food.

Doing things hands-on, she opened and operated a fish sauce (patis) factory in her forties, salt works in her sixties, a gravel and sand business in her eighties, and a coffee seedling nursery in her nineties.

She was intrepid, and had no qualms selling her products. At a time when few women were driving cars, she drove a jeep to deliver bottles of patis to customers around Manila. She drove another vehicle with only a helper beside her, and spent weekends in her salt plantation in Pangasinan; she had actually supervised the construction of the salt dikes. One night, a group of rebels knocked at her nipa hut, presumably to ask that she abandon her project, but she did not budge. She had a gun in her pocket, and let it be known to her visitors that she would use it if necessary. She of course never used it. The men went empty handed but convinced they were no match for this middle-age, no-nonsense woman.

Henry (“a most loving and generous son,” was how Tia Arling described him) wrote in the book of his mother’s being “a loving and strong-willed woman whose faith never wavered even in the face of difficulties that came her way in her journey through life.”

“From childhood she demonstrated a sensitive nature, temperamental pride, and strong determination to accomplish her plans and dreams.

“Coming from a well-to-do family and therefore used to the comforts of life, she did not hesitate to risk such luxuries to marry the man she loved and to whom she had promised undying love.

“Needless to say, she was the inspiration and motivation behind her husband’s successful career in government and her children’s chosen endeavors.”

Flor writes: “Nanay’s life is full of paradoxes. From an insecure young girl, she turned into a ‘pit bull’ that does not let go until she has finished what she has started. She is even jokingly referred to as a ‘ma-barker,’ whose singular goal is to protect her family and her resources. Hers is the story of an ‘ugly duckling,’ whose Prince Charming sweeps her off her feet and who later wakes up to the hard reality of marriage and hard work to ensure that her children are provided for.”

Flor praises her mother no end. “Telling Nanay’s story will not be complete if we say nothing about her faith. Like the plants she loves, Nanay’ s faith is to her like the sun, water and oxygen they need to live and flourish. Obedience, complete trust, and relentless faith in the Lord are lessons she learned from her parents and lessons she continues to live in her life. It is this ‘kapit-tuko-like’ faith (literally means to hold like a newt, an old saying about clutching at something without letting go) that Nanay will leave as a legacy for us to follow.”

In her 90s, bound as she was to a wheelchair, Tia Arling insisted that she be taken to her farm and sand-and-gravel farm in Antipolo every day, to check on whether her plants were being watered regularly, if the workers were fed well, if each working day was opened with a prayer.

Indeed, Tia Arling was an exceptional woman.

One can see her influence and spiritual inspiration in the book projects produced by her daughter Flor and grandson Ted Jimenez – four Coincidence of Miracle? editions. The fourth, titled Against All Odds, consists of short narratives by real people who hurdled difficulties and survived incredible experiences against all odds. Copies are for sale at OMF outlets, National Book Stores, Manila Polo Club, and EchoStore at Serendra and Podium.

Buy a book and see God at work in people’s experiences.

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My email: [email protected]