Sleepless in Malacañang

Noynoy Aquino must now be smoking two packs of cigarettes a day ever since Renato Corona called him a dictator. Maybe he has not slept a wink after getting a dose of his own medicine. So perhaps that is all that Corona has to do — keep on calling Noynoy a dictator.

Corona, by the way, is a type of cigar, some of the finest of which are produced by Cuba. This tiny Caribbean island nation is known for one other great distinction. It is home to Fidel Castro, one of the most colorful dictators the world has ever known.

As a dictator, Noynoy pales beside Castro. Castro is far more superior to Noynoy in many respects — personal and political strength and resiliency, intellect, capacity to laugh. Even in looks Castro wins. At 50, Castro had more hair on his chin than Noynoy on his head, ha ha.

I am not trying to get personal with Noynoy. But if I am, so what? I am his boss. And I get my taxes deducted religiously from my pay, which is more than can be said of some of those who gather around him like sanctimonious saints.

Castro has many children from his two wives and several other dalliances, including a son from a one night stand. Noynoy is pushing 52 yet is still unmarried. And his love life makes the running accounts and cave expeditions of Michelle So far more interesting.

Corona is not the only one who has branded Noynoy a dictator. Fr. Joaquin Bernas did as well. The former ally of Noynoy’s mother, Cory, has likened Noynoy to Castro. That makes it two votes for Noynoy in the dictatorship race.

Compared to Corona, who is the chief justice, and Fr. Bernas, a former Ateneo law dean and framer of the 1987 Constitution, I am just a small voice in the wilderness. Nevertheless, I would like to add my tiny voice to theirs: Dictator!

Noynoy, of course, bristles at the tag and has vehemently denied it. He says he cannot be a dictator because his family suffered in a dictatorship. My 11-year-old daughter who is not even president of her class can give a more compelling answer than that.

Just because giving birth is painful doesn’t mean a woman will no longer desire a child. I can actually find brain doctors who will say a painful experience can sometimes cause a desire, if unconscious, to inflict the same pain on others.

Noynoy, and so on down the Yellow Line, should wear the Golden Rule on their sleeves so they will not forget each time the urge is great to point a finger at someone — that you must not do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you.

The beauty, as well as the strength, of a functioning democracy is there are processes in place for redress of grievances. Unfortunately for the Philippines, there are certain types who go to town with the dirty laundry.

No problem if that is the way they play. But if they do not want to be judged harshly, they must not judge others similarly. If they do not like their noses bloodied, they must not throw the first punch. The rule is simply, if you can dish it, make sure you can take it.

No one is above the law. If you think anyone has committed any wrong, then by all means sue, present your evidence, and let the process run its course. But do not prejudge anyone before any trial and presentation of proof has even started. Do that and you are a dictator.

Worse, you are a confused and clueless dictator. You do not know what you want and where you stand. You call somebody bad and then get surprised and all angry if he or she does something you think is bad.

If you paint the “Devil” into a corner, do not expect him to pray the rosary. If you call somebody a fake, a cheat, and a lackey, do not get mad if he doesn’t call you honey. Take life the way Piolo does, ha ha.