Kuyang in an unpleasant situation

Because of our differing views about public office, I doubt very much if I could wholeheartedly campaign for Senator Bong Revilla. But the Kuyang in me, or being an eldest son myself, moves me to recognize the admirable conduct of Senator Bong Revilla when his half brother was murdered, his half-siblings accused of murder, and ultimately during the wake and internment of his half brother Ramgen Revilla.

Call it maturity or call it duty, but never have I seen Bong Revilla stand tall as he did during those trying moments. Not in his movies or on the Senate floor. We all have our sins and our shortcomings, but to stand and bear the guilt and the burden of others was truly difficult to watch.

To be “Kuyang” to the illegitimate siblings, to be their defender, their pillar of strength, whatever the reasons, was undoubtedly a true example of caring, maybe even Christian love. In our dysfunctional society where many men have fathered children with multiple partners, the sight of Bong Revilla standing in the gap was a painful reminder of how we curse and punish our children generationally because of the examples we set.

In our confused set of values, we are told to have nothing to do with the “illegitimate” sons and daughters, bothers and sisters. But on the other hand, our Christian ethics and Filipino compassion pushes us to care, to condole and in some bizarre way, be “family”.

Last week’s double murder, that of Ramgen Revilla and Ricky Pempengco father of International singer Charice Pempengco was not just about how common murder is in the Philippines. Even more important was how it highlighted the poor state of “Family relations” among today’s Filipinos.

Beyond marital infidelity and broken marriages, the two murders serve as a disturbing reminder about how murderous and uncivil Filipinos have become. It serves as a reminder that people should learn to hold their peace and their tongues particularly when someone is killed violently or dies unexpectedly.

Such great pain or sudden loss has time and again made relatives and mourners say irrational or reckless statements more out of a need to release their grief and express their loss. But in the presence of the media seeking for sound byte, the results almost always does more damage to the source and the intended receiver.

If anything is to be profited from last weeks tragedies, perhaps Senator Bong Revilla might want to study a bill that would keep reporters and members of media at a safe distance during wakes out of respect for the dead and their families. If family members want to make a statement let them go to the media outside the chapels and churches, but media intrusion and invasion should be stopped especially in cases of murders or sudden unexpected death, where the family is at a loss.

Another and perhaps even more important thing for consideration is for all of us, especially churches, schools and institutions to refocus on strengthening or rebuilding men and their families. Finding culprits and murderers will never solve the problem.

Arresting pushers, prostitutes and child abusers will forever be the work of policemen as long as WE, the fathers, mothers, Kuyangs, Ates, and everyone else fail to recognize that our society’s problems is not about the criminals but about the families, OUR families and how we preserve, protect and honor each other.

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Still on the topic of “Kuyangs”, I wish that members of the “Brotherhood of Masons” would refrain from using the Tagalog term “Kuyang” as if it were “their” official or exclusive term in addressing their elders or each other.

The practice which has been popularized by Mason members on radio, has apparently started to make a mark among the public who now think that “Kuyang” is a “Mason” term or title.

Being Tagalog in my upbringing, I casually and habitually use the term “Kuyang” when speaking to someone older or out of respect. But recently, I have been asked on a number of occasions, if I was a “Mason” because I regularly use the term “Kuyang”.

It is possible that “Masons” use the term “kuyang” for the same reasons and application, but because of their widespread influence, there is apparently a growing misimpression that the term “Kuyang” is a mason term, which I believe it is not. That unfortunately is the influence of radio and media.

This reminds me when “Bible studies” were renamed “Cell groups”. The term caught on and became very popular. Unfortunately when Al Qaeda developed their terrorist networks, the same term was applied to identify terrorist units as “Cell groups”. As a result almost all Bible study groups in the Philippines were forced to rename themselves.

Some renamed their groups as Men’s group, Leadership Group, Discipleship group.

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Just to catch up with readers reports and laments, the Secretary of the DPWH Rogelio Singson would be saving lives and a lot of money if he could send a couple of teams to look into the complaints of readers.

First is the UNLIT Skyway going to and from the NAIA 3 Terminal. From that danger zone, the DPWH and MMDA can look into the stretch of road from Magallanes to Buendia that has been in darkness for the last eight years. The area is reportedly where the wife of then Senator Rene Saguisag figured in a fatal car accident.

Secretary Singson should also investigate the long-standing complaint about the road repair on the Cagayan Valley Road particularly the stretch from Maasin/ San Ildefonso Bulacan where local government official are NOT MANNING THE TRAFFIC flow resulting in hour long traffic jams. Lets pray for results.

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