Armed

This story about Ronald Llamas and his guns just gets more ridiculous by the day.

It was ridiculous from the very start. After dumping their boss at the airport, Llamas’ aides decided to have a good time. They took the official car, complete with official gun, to paint the town red. Drunk and driving in the wee hours, they caused a traffic accident.

I am not sure if these guys were Akbayan cadres, but they were surely comfortable taking liberties with Llamas’ stuff as only his most trusted comrades might. After the accident happened, other Llamas aides arrived in a van and quickly cleared the contents of the SUV, paying little heed to the policemen at the scene.

Unfortunately for Llamas, footage had already been taken of some of the contents of the SUV  most notably the muzzle of an assault rifle sticking out menacingly from under the driver’s seat. A sensational media story immediately began to burn.

In most civilized societies, a public official caught with an assault rifle in his car would surely be shamed into resigning. This incident, and its aftermath, tells us we are not yet among the world’s most civilized societies.

Perhaps in an effort to explain away the discovery of the assault rifle in Llamas’ vehicle, Palace spinners tried to regale the public with stories about threats to the life of the presidential adviser. What those threats were and from whom, we are not told. At any rate, Sen. Miriam Santiago was quick with an intelligent riposte: If Llamas is so overwhelmed with fear for doing his job, so fearful he must brandish and assault rifle, he should resign.

Little has been told us about the men who, with an official car and an official assault rifle in their care, decided to get drunk and court a traffic incident. They were quickly dismissed from their jobs and immediately disappeared under the rug.

Meanwhile, President Aquino was quick to clear his political adviser of any misdemeanor  ahead of a complete police investigation into the matter. From reports about their meeting after the incident, it seems they had a good laugh about the matter. For many others, however, this did not seem like a laughing matter.

Meanwhile, Llamas tried to spin a parallel story about the UNCHR inviting presidential sister Kris Aquino to be goodwill ambassador for the international organization. That story, we now hear from other sources, is not very accurate.

As public commentary on this laughable incident continued burning, Llamas’ PR firefighters swung into action. There is very little they could do, however, to extinguish the comedy of it all. Nothing enthuses people more than an absurd event.

To begin with, every reasonably sane person realizes the impracticality of keeping an assault rifle under a car seat for defense. Any assault on the vehicle will likely occur in a couple of seconds, too fast to draw that rifle from underneath and return fire. From inside a vehicle, the best defensive weapon is a pistol, preferably sitting on one’s lap.

The only functionality of keeping an assault rifle under the car seat is emotional solace. That, however, suggests the bearer to be suffering from some emotional dysfunction that requires solace in the first place.

Much has been said about guns being psychological crutches. They give the bearer a false sense of power, especially when insecurity gnaws relentlessly. Possession of a gun enables the less competent to tilt any playing field in his favor.

In our culture, possession of firepower is an affirmation of status. The bigger the gun one brandishes, the higher the status that is affirmed. Llamas’ assault rifle is not an ordinary one. He immediately corrected reports about the rifle being an AK-47. That is so commonplace. Llamas’ rifle is a Czech-made CZ858 or something. It might be useless for the stated excuse for being in the vehicle with official plates, but at least it is an exotic weapon, one very few people have or even seen.

Also, this particular weapon is not the only one in Llamas’ inventory. He was quick to announce that he had another assault rifle and three other short arms. All of them were, of course, duly licensed. But of course! It is part and parcel of being in power to have the police issue documentation for armaments so that they may brought out of the home and be part of the accessories of an official vehicle.

I have known Ronald Llamas for decades, mainly in the context of unarmed politics and universally acceptable advocacies. I never realized he was a closet Rambo. Perhaps this is a recent affectation. Perhaps it is due to the company he has been keeping lately.

It took quite a while for him, and for his boss, to realize the incident involving the highly mobile assault rifle was taking a big toll on public esteem for both of them. Otherwise, he might have issued an apology immediately for carelessly storing high-powered firearms in his car instead of going along with the Palace-fabricated spin about threats to his life.

In our political culture, machismo might be admired  but only when it involves facility with women. Gunslingers are looked down upon. Recall that during the height of the 1986 mutiny, Juan Ponce Enrile was seen with a gun slung around his neck. He quickly slid, in public appreciation, relative to the unarmed Fidel Ramos who went through the revolution with only his cigars.

The police withdrew permits for Llamas’ assault rifles, perhaps as part of the general effort to douse water on this story. But the Senate, sensing a good media run here, is having the usual hearing on the matter.