Social compliance not complacency

Are Filipinos really so nice that they won’t complain, or are we simply resigned to a position of helplessness, that we no longer bother to register our anger or dissatisfaction about things?

In the aftermath of the “protest” or “wildcat strike” of Philippine Airlines Employees Association or PALEA, social scientists and observers will once again be asking the same old question why Filipinos are always very patient in the midst of discomfort.

When my friend Gina once found herself stuck at the airport because of another airline’s incompetence, she told me that she made it a point to be a “bitch” and tormented the ground staff for the inconvenience and disrupted appointments.

I reacted by telling her that while it is true that it was the fault of the airline, the ground staff shouldn’t have to be subjected to “bitchy behavior” because they’re only employees.

By sheer coincidence and all accounts, it was the ground staff that caused so much disruption and inconvenience to PAL passengers yesterday, so the defense that people are just employees turns out to be full of holes. Owner or employee, they all influence the quality of a product or service.  

It has been a couple of months since my talk with Gina and I have spent some time pondering on the topic about “Filipinos being too nice”. I now believe that our reluctance or inability to complain about bad products or service has nothing to do with being “nice”.

Filipinos have been trained, brainwashed, educated and manipulated to behave in a non-confrontational way from birth to death. From the early Barangay system we learned to conform to the way of the tribe. When the conquistadors or conquerors came they made us submit through the cross or the sword.

The Japanese did much the same with their samurais or bayonets; afterwards the more civilized Americans used education and salvation as a more sophisticated program to show us how “civilized and educated” people conduct themselves.

Unfortunately, much of that “good behavior” has cascaded down through generations. Just observe how young children are so intimidated about going to a counter to order something. Between having yayas and being told to wait, kids have become so dependent and compliant to the point of fear. 

Needless to say, martial law more than anything sealed our fate by instilling upon us a fear of uniformed men, an ignorance of the law and denial of our rights. Much like the “country boy”, we still have the fear from martial law deep inside and it is going to take a conscious effort to pull it out.

Anyone who acts out of order or character is instantly labeled a “bitch”, arrogant or “bastos”. Those of us who have lived abroad or work in a profession that is confrontational are often dismissed as a “fly” that now wants to act bigger than the carabao.

Aside from my friend Gina, I recently observed how OFWs who have lived abroad for more than two or three years display a more confident, more aggressive personality. A young lass we once knew as a timid probinsyana left for Germany ten years ago and returned “like she owned the company”.

Recently I listened to a Pinoy OFW based in Italy as he challenged the DFA spokesman and the Philippine Ambassador to Italy regarding the sense of removing middle initials of Filipinos living in Italy which might create problems elsewhere.

The Pinoy OFW was confrontational and adamant about his views and made them known. As I listened, my initial reaction was that the guy seemed disrespectful at the least. But the more I observed, I realized that this Pinoy was not hampered by the need to be “SOCIALLY COMPLIANT”.

He had been living in Italy for about ten years and if you’ve lived with an Italian or worked with them, they are one of the nicest people, yet can be the loudest or aggressive when it comes to expressing their views or their displeasure, especially the women.

Come to think of it, most women from the many nationalities I have come across do speak their minds. Can you imagine how this “influences” Filipina OFWs and how it changes the social landscape?

The no-name, non-celebrity OFW got what he demanded along with my respect because he was simply asking for government action, service that he pays for yearly as a registered OFW and as a citizen of the republic. He was not interested in “playing nice”; he wanted results and got results.

 At the risk of encouraging what many would deem as rebellious behavior, I must tell people that we need to “exercise our rights”, and not just “restraint”. We don’t need to bang our fists or scream in someone’s face.

But when you know someone is incompetent, ask for the person in-charge. When you know someone is lying and doing the corporate song and dance number, look at them in the eye and firmly tell them: “I don’t believe you” or “That’s not good enough for me”.

At the very least, make your complaint known, perhaps even challenge a claim or an arrest and if this does not work, go to a higher authority.

Yes we all don’t want to be inconvenienced, but it’s not a question of convenience, it is a question of expressing your sentiment and exercising your right. Whether you right me an email, or contest an arrest or file a complaint, it all takes time, requires effort and above all happens only because of action.

When consumers and citizens begin to recognize their rights by acting on them, others will recognize them as well. If you don’t act, why expect others?

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