Love of country comes in many forms

When Davao City Mayor Sara Duterte refused to apologize for beating up court sheriff Abe Andres, Andres apologized to Duterte. When bishops demanded that Noynoy Aquino apologize for the “Pajero Bishops” tag and Noynoy refused, the bishops forgave him anyway.

 Everything about the preceding paragraph is true and verifiable, yet I never realized the truth can make me so uncomfortable. But if it is any consolation, at least I can reassure myself that this happens only in the Philippines.

 The thing is, I live in the Philippines. This country is my home. For better or worse, I am stuck with it. And I am sure even those Filipinos who have left in search of greener pastures cannot completely divorce themselves from the fact that, in their hearts, this is still home.

 This thing about countries is really strange. It is like a love-hate relationship. At times you feel truly embarrassed because of things that happen in your country. But somehow your embarrassment never falls headlong into outright shame.

 And I believe the thing that separates embarrassment from shame, the thing that makes up the big difference, is pride. The pride of a person in his country is something that cannot be taken away. For some it is manifest. For others it is dormant. But it is never far. It is there.

 I have written about this before, but I will mention it again because we are on the same subject: The reason Manny Pacquiao is a great source of pride for Filipinos, including those who know nothing about boxing, is because he gives us something to feel good about ourselves.

 It is not so much that Pacquiao has been demolishing his opponents right and left. It is because his fights are our own. Precisely because embarrassing things happen “onli in d Pilipins” that we see our redemption in every punch that Pacquiao delivers on our behalf.

 It may be Pacquiao up in the ring, but it is also actually us on the world stage, doing something for our pride. We are fighting for all the things that have diminished us in the eyes of the world.

 Some well-meaning friends have asked me why I often seem very negative in my columns and I tell them it is because I miss the positive things I long to see in my country. I am a writer and it is only with words that I can fight the negative on behalf of the country that I love.

 In the course of my writing career, I probably have earned more critics than admirers. And that is sad, because that means only few have seen the reality and the meaning behind my words. The rest prefer to judge me and my writings on the basis of their own biases.

 Let me cite an example. I have been blasted by critics as being pro-RH bill because I have been critical of the Church regarding the issue. But if these critics would only read back carefully on all my articles on the matter, they would see how wrong they were.

 For not once in all those articles have I endorsed the RH bill. But what I have written very passionately about is the way the Church has been handling its position on the issue. To me, it is not in the nature of Christ to be belligerent and threatening. And that is that.

 Another matter over which I have often been criticized is the subject of Gloria Arroyo. I am not an apologist for the former president. If I end up defending her, it is never by design. I am forced to defend her because, very often, the attacks are unfair, unjust, and unkind.

 Very often the attacks against Arroyo are temptingly believable. In all probability, most of them may even be true. But for all the sound and fury of these attacks, the hard evidence just always seems to be somewhere else. And I cannot be a party to unsubstantiated charges.

Besides, the pattern of selectivity and persecution is clear. Everything that has been hurled against Arroyo can be hurled against a great many others. Which brings me back, as a case in point, to Duterte and Andres, and Noynoy and the bishops. Me, negative? I have no choice!