What gentleman?

I’m starting to believe that 98% of gentlemen have died together with the remnants of the Victorian Era for the reason that, apart from my father (who is expected to treat me like a princess 500% of the time) and two close guy friends whom I consider my brothers in Christ, I haven’t really bumped into anyone I would consider a natural gentleman since I stepped out of college.

 I’m serious. I’ve been ranting about this the entire time to my closest friend and all she could do was completely agree with me—hopefully not because she already wanted me to clam up about the topic.

 Boyfriends who carry their girlfriends teeny tiny purse don’t count. In the entire courtship ritual, they are expected to do that—until they get so used to each other, but let’s save that for a different article. And fathers don’t count either because even the most criminal-minded dad (yes, Gary David of Mara Clara in mind) will do anything just to make sure his daughter is treated like royalty.

 I doubt the guys I’ve come across are simply too engrossed about the entire Women’s Liberation Movement or the entire Miss Independent thing (I assure you, these guys aren’t Neyo) considering that they don’t even know an iota about women’s liberation (yes, they still make those nasty, insensitive women jokes) but really, is not offering to help an ordinary woman carry her luggage twice her weight insensitive or what? Must a woman pretend that she’s pregnant to be offered a seat in a fully-packed bus?

 Women empowerment is an alibi used by men who weren’t taught a thing or two by their mothers on how to treat women well and with respect because by golly, women empowerment has nothing to do with being plain and simple nice and well-mannered.

 Being a gentleman isn’t about the grandest and the most death-defying of acts done in the name of honoring a woman. It is, for the most part simply about the smallest and most ordinary of acts that make a big difference. These are the little things that are done not with the intention of helping the woman out because one feels that she is helpless, weak, and incapable to do it by herself but these are the little things that are done with the plain intention of being nice and of simply wanting to help.

 These could be as simple as the act of offering to help out with something, opening a door, offering a seat, offering to carry something undeniably heavy, staying on the danger side of the road, or waiting. Waiting for the woman’s food to be served before wolfing down one’s own. Waiting for her to be able to get all of her things from the airport’s conveyor belt before zipping off to leave.

 And just because one does these things to one girl doesn’t automatically make him the natural gentleman because the natural gent isn’t just nice to his mother or to his sister, his wife or his girlfriend. The natural gentleman is a gentleman to all the women he comes across with in one way or another. He is consistent and he never allows a woman to be in a very uncomfortable situation. Ever.

 Forgive me for resorting into this cheesy cliché but the natural gentleman isn’t born. He is being brought up well by parents who believe that the world would simply be a nicer place to live in if we had nicer men around. He is being brought up by parents who know that a man cannot and should not demand respect. He should earn it by acting respectable and by respecting others first.

 It’s a lame excuse to say that you cannot be nice to another person just because you do not know that person. Being a gent should never be limited within the circle of who you know.

 I don’t believe it when people say being a gentleman is completely out of style. Kindness, good manners, and sensitivity, are among the things that, really, just never go out of style.

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