Teenager in the house

My son finished his periodical exams over a week ago. His vacation has not officially started as he has to wait for clearances and other school announcements. An abstract painting I made from leftover acrylic paint from his school projects records this school year. I got the idea from an artist who mixed colors on canvas while working on figurative paintings. With a few brushstrokes of contrasting colors for emphasis, he turned these into abstract works.

There are streaks of blue and yellow on a background of bronze and copper on my painting, from the Virgin Mary’s robe and starlit manger my son painted last December. Showing through the semi-opaque background are hues from other paintings he submitted for his CLE class –his interpretation of the creation story from the Book of Genesis (Let there be light!), the life of St. Ignatius, and comparative scenes of lives lived with and without God’s love.

Not having gone to Catholic school, I was always curious about what his teachers were teaching him about God and what my son thought about the lessons. He and his classmates were given the option to express their reflections on the Bible lessons (and the life of one of their school’s saints) through an essay or through art. He chose to paint and I was happy because I felt that he was using both sides of his brain to learn. For the life lived without God’s love, for example, he painted a blackened heart squeezed by a hand.

The heart looked as if it was being prevented from beating.

Not all of his assignments were that interesting though. He fell asleep creating the chart comparing the lives of prophets, the contents of which he had to memorize. Sure there are lessons to be learned from those stories but I did not see how knowing which prophet was married to a prostitute would enrich the life of a 13-year-old. I rolled my eyes when I found out what he had to do but kept quiet. I also reminded myself that his teacher had academic freedom and that exercises like that was the price I had to pay for sending my child to a traditional Catholic school.

Around this time every year, friends with children still in pre-school debate about whether to pick a traditional school or a progressive school for their kids. One argument for progressive schools is that they take into account a child’s pace of learning and allows her to learn without stress. A parent in favor of traditional schools says that the world is a tough and competitive place so putting her child

in that kind of school environment would best prepare her for the real world. Both sides have valid points. I listen to the discussion and keep quiet. It will be a while before I need to make those decisions myself.

A book review of “The Social Animal: The Hidden Sources of Love, Character and Achievement” by David Brooks in the online version of “The Economist” stated: “Education systems exist mainly to build the rational mind, and yet the decisions that are most important in making people happy are the ones in which reason plays little or no part: The development of friendships and the choice of a spouse.” It is an interesting insight and is something that I want to learn more about. I’m still looking for a copy of the book.

For now, I am grateful for the time that my son and I have together, neither of us under pressure from school or work. This school year has taught me that nagging and scolding do not work on 13-year-olds. I just hope that I figure what works before the next school year begins.

* * *

 Email: [email protected]