The next person to ask me if why, at 22, I still don’t have a boyfriend will land the same fate as the taxi driver who won’t give me the exact change for a short trip from Escario to Gorordo-that person will get seriously punched in the face.
I’ve lost count of the number of people from friends to officemates to churchmates to relatives who’ve asked me that question. And I’m honestly tired of giving them a series of answers ranging from ‘Well, I’m just not interested’, to ‘I guess they’re just scared of me’ to ‘It’s not yet God’s time’ or even to ‘I guess no one’s interested’. And I’m dead tired of being suspected of having some non-existent boyfriend with whom I purportedly have coffee with at Starbucks.
Why? Can’t I have a date with my girl friends in Cebu or spend the weekend writing alone in my little spot at Starbucks? Can’t I? Come over, let me punch you in the nose.
I’m going to say the same thing that I said when I was asked to speak during our Honor’s Day-on that warm February 14, 2009 afternoon: My chances of getting shot by a terrorist are probably higher than my chances of ever getting a date on Valentines.
It’s ridiculous how people fuss over one’s relationship status, as if having no boyfriend since birth is a curse or an abnormality. I don’t know exactly how many single twenty-somethings like me who have never been into a relationship have been treated like cancer patients or war refugees every February 14-with utmost pity-just because we don’t have a better half to spend this special day of hearts with.
But whether it’s only for this special day or for the rest of our lives, singles like me who have never been into a relationship are like this for a reason-and we’re not bothered by it one bit. We are just annoyed at all the people who are trying to shove a relationship down our throats by fixing us up with their weird-looking relatives or with people who think they are God’s gift to the opposite sex.
We are single because we are already more than contented with the company that we share with our closest friends and because we just find it too trifling to have to perpetually ask someone else’s permission before we do anything. We don’t loathe relationships; in fact, we appreciate relationships as much as anyone else. It’s just that we don’t want one right now because when it comes down to it, we don’t view relationships as a ‘need’. For us, it’s a want that we can do without.
Relationships are not like experiments. It’s a trial and error sort of thing. Relationships are supposed to be viewed the way you would view other important decisions in your life like what course to take in college or what career you want to pursue. It’s not some short term, in-the-now kind of affair. It is a long term commitment. To be someone else’s lifetime partner is a long term career without any retirement or resignation.
Being single since birth is a blessing in many ways that’s why it’s just crazy why people are worrying over our unchanging relationship status in Facebook or how so many other singles are trying to find love in all the wrong places like the internet.
Love comes in different shades. First and foremost you love who you are and for the person that you have become because of the love of other people like you parents and friends.
Yes, I am 22, no boyfriend since birth, and yes, I’m requesting for a table for one. End of discussion.
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Email: stacydanika@yahoo.com