Love-triangle

Tomorrow is February 14!. Once and for all, let us de-commercialize Valentine’s Day and make it a God-centered celebration, as it should be. After all, the St. Valentine of history was one who loved God totally and refused to renounce his faith, for which reason he was beaten and beheaded in 269 A.D., under the rule of the Roman Emperor Claudius II. By offering his own life, Valentine proved himself as a true lover of the God of Love, his valentine. God’s valentine was St. Valentine, and St. Valentine’s valentine was God. And so it is with each one of us.

What, then, is the meaning of this Valentine celebration between sweethearts and married couples? No less than a love-triangle, the only love-triangle that does not end in disaster but in heaven. Boyfriend, girlfriend, and God. Husband, wife, and God. Let us try to understand this in a deeper, psycho-spiritual way.

Within each one of us is what is referred to as a “celibate center.” There is a sense of incompleteness and a yearning for the Godhead. In other words, every human person has as his/her deepest need and longing the desire to “marry God,” to be completed by God in order to find lasting happiness. One’s spouse is the human representation of that instinctive desire for God. In fact, the ecstatic climax of the marital love-act is an experience of mutual self-abandonment and no less than a mystical experience, as the spiritual writer, M. Scott Peck, describes it. Husband, wife, and God. Thus, we can clearly understand why marital infidelity is against God’s design for the love-triangle of marriage.

Going back to St. Valentine, what about the life of a contemporary priest or nun? How is this love-triangle experienced? The professional celibate’s spouse is God’s people, the human community, plural. The priest or nun, the human community, and God. Is this spiritual polygamy?! Take this Sister who is so devoted in taking care of ill patients in a hospital. Or take that Priest who risks his life by picketing with laborers in a just strike. Consider all the Priests and Sisters who spend their lives serving God’s people, their valentines. The unpublicized Mother Teresas and Don Boscos of our time.

The language of the heart. This is what today’s Gospel reading is all about, whether you are a lay person, a cleric, or a nun. Quoting from our “Sambuhay” for today, “Mere observance of God’s law does not make us his true followers . . . . Only a heart transformed can measure up to the challenge of Jesus.” Beyond sweethearts and married couples are God’s people, the human community, the nation. This is indeed God’s valentine on the community level. All of us are God’s valentines. Another love-triangle: I, the community, and God. It is in this context that I want to refer now to our living heroine, Heidi Mendoza.  

At the risk of her own life and that of her dear family, this former state auditor revealed the corruption among the top brass of the military. What motivated her to do this? Nothing less than her love for God and God’s people. In her own words, she made that courageous decision “for the benefit of the ordinary soldiers and our people….What I am saying is I just did what is right, what should be done….It is my sole conviction and it is a response of my call as a Christian and as an auditor of the republic.” This has resulted in a ripple effect that inspires others to do likewise.

Last February 4, a rally and noise barrage in support of Mendoza was held in front of the Ateneo de Manila University, where her husband, Meynardo Mendoza, proclaimed that his wife’s fight was “not hers alone but the fight of every Filipino.” No less than a God-inspired conviction. Ang ating sariling bayan, ang kaisa-isang bayan na ipinagkatiwala sa atin ng Panginoon, ang pinakamamahal nating Pilipinas, anupa’t ito na nga ang ating valentine.

Let me end with what has been attributed to our late Jesuit Father General, Fr. Pedro Arrupe, S. J. :

Nothing is more practical than

Finding God, that is, Than

FALLING IN LOVE

In a quite absolute, final way.

What you are in love with,

What seizes your imagination,

Will affect everything.

It will decide

What will get you out of bed

In the morning,

What you do with your evenings,

How you spend your weekends,

What you read, who you know,

What breaks your heart,

And what amazes you with

Joy and gratitude.

Fall in love, stay in love,

And it will decide everything.

Happy Valentine to all of you!