Saving bikini wearers from dengue

Guvnor Gwen says the Capitol has “all the aces” in the 93-1 issue. “So di na ka ek ang King?” remarked a colleague who plays pro blackjack in some dead friend’s wake.

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A cow with two heads was born somewhere in Europe. Two heads? A cow with two heads ... that must be what they call Holy cow!

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Posters of women in bikinis are to be banned. I haven’t talked with Councilor Ed Labella, author of the proposal, but I guess he just wants to protect the bikini wearers from mosquito bites.

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If so, I would like to hail this move by one of my favorite councilors. Yes, Noy Temyong, considering the rising number of dengue victims.

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I read somewhere that parents of a high school student are suing a news reporter for calling their son “bayot.” The reporter apologized, saying: “Sorry. Abi nako bayot kay nag-lipstick man gud, heavy kaayo ang eye-shadow, ug gi-eyebrow pencil ang kilay. Sorry ha. Abi nako bayot.”

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I said it once, allow me to say it once more. A survey in the US says that “whatever” and “actually” are the most irritating words according to many people. So also are they in the Philippines where lots of Pinoys start their statements with “actually” and sometimes ending them with “whatever.”

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I have to say it once more so as to have a premise (hehehe) for writing the succeeding paragraphs. I have been told that in the Philippines some “scholars” have determined that one of the most irritating phrases often used here is “fully booked.” Which may refer to all seats taken in airliners, all rooms occupied in hotels, etc.

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Sometimes it also refers to a woman with bed habits belonging to the oldest profession. When the “contract” has already been filled for a certain period, her “agent” would turn down more “contracts” saying: “Sorry, she’s fully booked.”

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Recently, I heard on tv, the manufacturer of Sto. Niño images (statues) telling a reporter: “Di na mi modawat og dugang orders kay fully booked na mi.”

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In the Philippines, a major winner in the lotto is well secured by the PCSO. He is kept under wraps like the mummy of old so no one could identify him, to secure him from “balato” seekers.

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When the multi-million-dollar lotto jackpot was recently won in the US, the winner’s name was not only revealed, his photo was splashed on the papers across the nation. “Didto gud sa US wa’y pangayuay balato,” according to Noy Temyong.”

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