Security in uncertainty

Today’s Gospel reading is frequently misinterpreted in a fundamentalist and literal sense by some individuals and even religious groups. “And I tell you, ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened” (Lk. 11: 9-10).

I remember a husband who was suffering from a terminal illness. It was just a matter of time, the doctors said. The wife was resigned in surrendering her husband to the Lord. Until a small, charismatic group, led by a friend of the wife, visited the dying husband and prayed over him. The charismatic leader assured the wife that if she would have total faith in God, the husband would definitely recover. So the wife did what she was told. But some days after the praying over by the group, her husband died! You can imagine the pain and resentment of the wife, not only against that charismatic group, but against God Himself. Her faith was shaken, and it took her quite sometime to recover from all that.

Let me reiterate what I have expressed here a long time ago, as a result of prayerfully reflecting on that Gospel passage. “Ask and you will receive…” Receive what ? exactly what you are asking for? It does not say. “Seek and you will find…” Find what? exactly what you are looking for? It does not say. “Knock and door will be opened to you.” Which particular door will be opened to you? it does not say.

The punchline of Jesus is found several lines later. “If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him?” (v. 13) Let us then complete the hanging verbs with the proper object: Ask and you will receive Me; seek and you will find Me; knock and I will open to you. For everyone who asks, receives Me; and the one who seeks, finds Me; and to the one who knocks, I will open the door.

The Lord is offering to give us no less than Himself, his spiritual Presence, His peace within us. But very often, we look for less important things than God Himself. In faith, I know that God is my closest and constant companion, even if I know not where He will lead me? to light or darkness, to joy or pain, to a long life or a short one. What does it really matter, for as long as He is with me and I am with Him. For as long as I do not turn my back on Him, I have absolutely nothing to fear. In His own way, in His own time, the Lord will give me inner peace, for He is the ever-compassionate God who loves me unconditionally. For as long as I give and do my human best, the rest is in His hands. Security in uncertainty.

Take this young man who was so preoccupied with becoming a Priest someday. This was his dream ever since he was a ten-year-old Mass server in their parish. He even stormed heaven with many novenas to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary. He looked forward to becoming a Parish Priest someday? looked up to by parishioners, respected and obeyed. After high school, he took a Bachelor’s degree in Humanities, precisely to prepare himself more before entering the seminary. Just before graduation, he took a guided discernment retreat. It was there that he experienced real closeness to God, so that he began to really listen to the Lord, rather than expecting the Lord to listen to him. It was then that he became aware in his heart that God was not calling him to the priesthood. Initially, he was emotionally disturbed, because it seemed that God did not listen to his prayers. But today, many years later, he is happily married and has two kids. He and his wife are not only a loving couple for each other and their family. They are also very much involved in social work for their parish community. A couple-for-others. No less than what we mean by priesthood of the laity. “Seek, and you will find…”

Let us keep emphasizing that the really adult form of prayer is the prayer of discernment. Suppose I am about to make a decision about an important issue. First, I surrender myself to the Lord, and not be personally biased in favor of one option over the other. After putting together all the relevant, factual data concerning the issue, I can begin to weigh the pros and cons of each option. And as I prayerfully reflect over each option in God’s presence, my inner self will be drawn toward one option. And if this gives me inner peace over time, this is a sign of God’s will, no matter how easy or difficult the decision may be.

Decisions that I make according to this process of discernment are what will draw me closer and closer to God and neighbor, until the last day of my life.