The measure of our eloquence

When Senator Mar Roxas let slip a few expletives during the anti-Cha-cha rally last week, not only did he cuss and thereby cursed his enemies, he also showed us the level of our collective eloquence and ability to communicate our dislike for our opponents.

Senator Roxas and his generation certainly fail in comparison to his elders when it comes to beautifully expressing their contempt for critics and enemies alike. In essence those who speak in public have taken the slide of derision down to the gutter where expletives are expressed in short form, short words and graphic reference to body cavities, sexual dispositions or mental history.

This piece is not about the propriety or impropriety of expletives in the Senator’s speech. Merely judging from the continuous efforts of Malacanang operatives to morally blackball Roxas is proof enough that he hurt the feelings of people we could liken to the Philippine version of “Rehab’s descendants”.

But given the possibility that the Philippines will once again be exercising what we erroneously term as an election campaign, it may help for those in politics to brush up on more eloquent phrases and language to insult your enemy by.

The British for instance excel in the area of politely insulting their opponents. And as exemplified in the exchange between Winston Churchill and Lady Astor (first woman in the House of Commons), we read that everything is fair for both sex; Lady Astor is quoted as saying to Churchill: “If you were my husband I’d give you poison” To this Churchill replied: “If you were my wife I’d drink it”.

British politician and two-time Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli was perhaps one of the most clever clots when it came to witty repartee. A fellow parliamentarian said to him: “ Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease”. “That depends, sir,” said Disraeli, “whether I embrace your policies or your mistress”.

Abraham Lincoln is not to be outdone when he said, “He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know”.

Just to entertain you guys here’s a sampling of what I culled off the internet:

“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts . . . . for support rather than illumination.” — Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily”. — Charles, Count Talleyrand

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” — Forrest Tucker

“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” — Paul Keating

“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” — John Bright

“ He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” — Oscar Wilde

We must bear in mind however that “Tagalog” is a very graphic language made colorful by the poetic sounding Spanish references to the female anatomy and sexual preoccupation. Thus it requires more imagination, more poetry and what really sells it is humor not crass.

Listening to the defensive team of Malacanang I imagine people so convinced of the purity of their cause in defending Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves. As the French would put it: “there is nothing worse than courageous stupidity.”

On a spiritual approach I would encourage the inter-faith participants to be more pious and more prayerful so that in the final judgment we can outnumber the forces of “Evil” from entering Paradise or they might cut down every tree or declare every valley in heaven as available for mining.

Actually, Mar would have done better by exposing the complete plans of the pro Cha-cha congressmen. Once they change the Constitution, they intend to re-write the Bible so they can reduce the Ten Commandments into eight Commandments. The Congressional version will delete the commandments Thou shall not steal, and Thou shall not commit adultery.

Using the NBI for the wrong things

Shoppers going to Megamall are surprised with the long lines of people applying for an NBI clearance. They of course never saw the infinity lines on Taft Avenue in the early days. Nonetheless, some people have started to ask why NBI clearance has become a standard requirement instead of a special requirement?

In the first place, the NBI is suppose to be an “elite” law enforcement agency much like the US FBI and its concerns are suppose to be crimes of national concern such as syndicates, terrorists, and transnational criminal activities.

The NBI is not supposed to be the automatic option or alternative to police work or responsibility. The NBI is not suppose to be a standard part of employee processing, and why are applicants immediately required to spend money and effort as well as time on a clearance even before they apply or are certain of getting a job?

Given all the improvements and computerization among law enforcement agencies, clearances should emanate from the local police force since they are more spread out and have first hand knowledge of applicants. It would be such a simple thing for the police to link with the NBI instead of making Filipinos go to very distant and few locations for their clearances.

Since the police have passed on many of its earlier duties such as traffic management, village patrols etc. they should begin to take on work that appropriately utilizes their resources. The income generated by the NBI certainly helps the NBI or the Department of Justice but the PNP has greater need of the funds for guns, bullets, and equipment on a daily basis.

Let us rebuild and reorganize the NBI into what it was meant to be and not marginalize and diminish a crucial organization in our fight against crime.