Descent of the flight path

It was one of those normal flights out of Manila. The flight attendant came trundling down the aisle with his cart full of, in this cost-conscious travel era, scaled-down refreshments. Came the usual query: "Sir, coffee, tea or water?"

I looked at the attendant, and suddenly, recoiled. My gawd. Have the usual Filipino good looks found in plenty within planes suddenly come in short supply?

Ok, he wasn't bad looking. He had a decent haircut, neatly pressed clothes, maybe an amiable personality. But much as I tried, that was about the extent of my charity. What had happened?

I remember that flight attendants, back at the time they were still known as stewards, were at least 5 foot 10 (which is tall for us Filipinos), great skin, nice physique, and everything else you might imagine a good looking person could be. It was something of an achievement to get in - only the pretty girls and boys made it. Even if I had wanted to pursue a career in the clouds, I wouldn't have made the cut, because I didn't have the height, and also… well, yeah, I didn't have the height.

Now here was this guy who was maybe two inches shorter than me, and while he wasn't ugly, he was far from the ideal. How did he squeeze through the mythical selection process that reputedly left egos bruised and battered with rejections bordering on criminal?

Two instant theories. One was that Filipinos are becoming uglier, a theory which, for the sake of our collective sanities, just has to be rejected immediately.

My second theory was that the flight attendant career, even despite Lisa Kudrow's inspirational documentary, has lost its luster. It's no longer as attractive (and as high-paying) as before, and a lot of them kids have probably just chosen the call center agent route.

To test this theory, and four hours before my deadline to submit this column, I sent this question to ten people: "Do you think flight attendants are getting uglier? Do you have a theory for it?"

The recipients of my impromptu survey were at least college degree holders, some of them with multiple degrees, and most were either Ateneo or UP graduates, so I could be assured of a certain degree of intellect being applied to the questions. Plus, very important, they were friends, so I couldn't be judged for it.

Surprisingly, more than half the recipients answered my question. Even serious columnist Manolo Quezon, who I thought would just ignore me, weighed in on the issue. The rest, of course, ignored me. They probably thought my head was up in the usual fluffy clouds where it's been known to rest when not confronted with serious legal dilemnas.

Anyway, here are the answers that came out:

One doctor said he doesn't look at them, he just sleeps. (Uh-huh. Right.)

Two people, both best friends, replied that perhaps, the beautiful boys and girls have moved to the Middle Eastern airlines, where they're probably paid much better.

Another girl posed the kinder theory that perhaps, our standards, the passengers, were just getting higher. (So I guess it's my fault then for being such a snot.) On the other hand, another friend wholeheartedly agreed with my observation, and even said he was disheartened. (As he's in the tourism profession, I think I can rely on his aesthetic standards.)

One Ateneo grad, now a businessman, says the attendants are all getting old, and their collective bargaining agreement with the company keeps them latched fast onto their jobs, so the airlines can't hire new faces.

At first, Manolo didn't bother answering the question, but just gave a catty comment that he later on forbade me to print. (Ok, fine.) But in his next text, he also thought it was the age factor operating.

After scanning the survey results, I thought I liked my theory the best. We're done with the baby-boomer dads and generation X - the values are now different. Filipino Gen-Y has other priorities, and perhaps, serving hot meals on a tray to supercilious customers while maintaining your balance ain't one of them, honey.

But, this is just a theory. I'll tinker with it, and if I get results, maybe I'll write about it again. Meanwhile, as Tippi says, there are still a couple of cute FAs out there.

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