Today’s Gospel reading is about Christ’s cleansing of the temple, which was being used for money-making purposes and activities (Jn. 2: 13-22). In God’s design for humanity, every home, every family is meant to be God’s temple, where the family members feel and experience God’s presence as they relate to one another, to all others, and the community in authentic love. In fact, every member of the family is God’s temple. “Do you not know that you are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?” (From today’s Second Reading, I Cor. 3: 9-11, 16-17).
But human nature needs continuing conversion, since the greatest enemy of the person is one’s own ego and the latter wins out, unless the person constantly attaches himself/herself to God, and not to one’s ego.
What, then, would Christ do with this so-called Filipino, Catholic family whose “home” is somewhere in Metro-Manila? The father-and-husband of this family is a public official who often accepts big amounts of “lagay” from persons requesting for political favors. On the side, he goes womanizing, not to mention periodic gambling. The twenty-year-old daughter has been having sexual relations with three different boyfriends, one after the other, until she becomes accidentally pregnant. The mother gets angry and frantic, and with the daughter’s consent, they have the fetus aborted. This family goes to Mass on Sundays, and contributes monetarily to the charity work in their parish.
There are different variations to this type of family life, and there are more than a handful of them all around us, to say the least!
What about this other Filipino Catholic family who likewise lives in Metro-Manila? The father-and-husband is also a public official, but is known for his moral integrity and impeccable dedication in his service to the community. He and his wife are literally close friends and companions, what we can call as “magkabarkada.” Moreover, they are still intimate lovers, characterized by mutual fidelity, even after twenty-five years of marriage. They have a twenty-four-year-old daughter, who is seriously planning to get married to her fiancé of three years, and believe it or not, she is still a virgin! This family also goes to Mass on Sundays, and contributes their time, talents, and treasure to the apostolic work for the poor in their parish.
There are likewise different variations to this type of family life, and there are more than a handful of them all around us, to say the least! What, then, is the success formula of this second family, as contrasted to the first?
We all know the answer in our heads, but to live it out in everyday life is the on-going challenge to our families of today. Once in this column, I had quoted a well-known spiritual writer who is a very active and committed husband-and-father, and not a celibate theologian or monk. In his precious book based on experience, Ernest Boyer Jr. refers to home and family life as the “sacred in the ordinary,” the “sacrament of the routine,” the “liturgy of daily life.” Thus, he titled his book as Finding God at Home. In my more than 40 years of pastoral experience as a marital-family counselor and in conducting seminars and retreats for couples and families, I can say the same without the slightest doubt. It is when the family becomes habitually aware of God’s presence in their actual daily lives and activities that can make all the difference. And this is not a matter of following the letter of the law, but living out the spirit of the law.
More recently, another spiritual author, this time a wife-and-mother, as well as a theology professor, came out with a book based on her experiences, and not just from doctrinal theology. Wendy Wright is her name, and her 2003 book is meaningfully entitled as: Seasons of a Family’s Life. Cultivating the Contemplative Spirit at Home. To develop “a habitual attentiveness to God in the midst of daily activity” is not only possible. It is doable!
(The Jesuit Vocation Promotions Team invites male 4th year high school students, college students and young professionals to a vocation seminar. It will be held on November 23, 2008, Sunday, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. at the 2nd Floor of the CLC Bldg., Ateneo de Manila University, Loyola Heights, Quezon City. For more details, please contact the Jesuit Vocation Promotions Office at tel. no. (02) 4266101 or mobile number 0917-Jesuits (5378487) or e-mail at mateoharvey@yahoo.com. You can also visit the website of the Philippine Jesuits at www.jesuits.ph.