Weekly accusations of mauling surface against this candidate

TO SMALL TO MAUL. Accusations of mauling against this mayoralty bet seem to surface weekly, and many people who know this candidate well are laughing these off because, aside from knowing that he does not have the "animal instincts" to do it, this candidate is just too frail to beat up anybody. "Gamay man kaayo na siya, mas motoo pa gani ko og siya pay makolatahan," said a friend. His supporters suspect these are but the dirty ploys of the opposite camp he is running against.

TOO RICH TO DITCH. A representative of a boxing promotion outfit recently went to city hall to try and apply for a tax exemption for an event they were promoting. Just when all papers and forms were filled out, questions asked and all things seemed on the right track, the final approving official suddenly had an epiphany. "Wait," the official said, "isn''t MP Promotions owned by Manny Pacquiao?" "Yes." The official denied the request.