Be fluid but anchored

I was with some of my folks last Easter Sunday. An uncle, now 75 and quite conscious of it, told me he now holds the record of being the oldest among his siblings who, like my mom, his older sis, passed away in their sixties.

I, of course, told him he looked great and strong, and quickly moved to other safer topics. Around us was a wide assortment of cousins, in-laws, friends and their children, big and small, fat and thin, all smiling and affectionate. I immediately realized I belong to a happy clan.

As usual, the naughty and charming tots stole my heart. But my attention was grabbed by a group of teen-aged nieces and nephews, still in college or high-school. I can''t help giving them side-glances, alternating between admiring and being concerned, and then praying for them.

They all looked bigger and moved with greater nonchalance than what my siblings and I had when we were at their age. A young niece, just fresh from high school, bloomed in her innocent, effortless beauty. The boys looked very athletic and burly like lions lazing around in summer.

But I can''t help notice the big and what seems to me like a growing generation gap between them and their parents, my cousins. When I was at their age, I too felt this distance with my parents. But what I saw in that reunion was more than what I expected. Obviously, more elements are involved now.

Times indeed have changed. Many things have happened, I know. When I talked to my cousins, they somehow sounded resigned about how things are going. They said they just try their best. It''s hard now, they said, to say anything to the kids. I felt knocked out.

This was when they called a friend of theirs to give me a presentation of a sociological study on generational differences now. I immediately oriented my antennas.

I was, of course, enlightened and amused. The study put to words, pictures and figures hazy observations and insights about this inter-generational profiling.

Some of the things I noted down were: Senior citizens (41 and above) grew up in hard times, were exposed to traditional values of discipline, self-denial, hard work, obedience to authority, social and financial conservatism. I agree.

Those considered young adults (21-40) enjoyed a modicum of prosperity and educational opportunities. They were exposed to some continued economic growth, and thus developed a sense of privilege.

Those 20 and below were born in tumultuous political, social and economic conditions, and grew up with a faster clip of change brought about by technology.

As to their defining self-idea, the senior citizens value duty and conformity a lot; the young adults, individuality; and the youth, diversity. As to their attitude to change, the seniors worry about protection, the young adults consider it a challenge and risk-taking, and the youth simply welcome and celebrate it. The seniors view leisure as a reward for hard work, the young adults regard it as the point in life, while the youth consider it as relief. As to attitude to technology, the seniors are intimidated, the young adults feel challenged by it, the youth are simply dependent on it. Well, these are sociological data, not gospel truths. As such, they give some light for guidance. They have to be acted upon from a higher source of wisdom. They are not supposed to be held as the prevailing law of the time.

Thus, it is important that the parents and elders do their job well and fearlessly face the challenge of forming the youth properly. We, the elders, should be very open and fluid with the times, but properly anchored.

We have things - wisdom, experience, mature faith and tried spirituality, traditions, etc. - that are very helpful in educating the younger ones. We should never feel helpless or irrelevant.

The challenge is how to make prayer, study, reasoning, working, using time well, etc., cool to the kids. As long as we are always with God, we will not run out of ideas and workable strategies, never doubt it.

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